


Matters of the Heart

by Twilightgirl224



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-08-24
Updated: 2012-08-23
Packaged: 2017-11-12 18:42:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 26,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/494429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twilightgirl224/pseuds/Twilightgirl224
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Heartbroken when Tanya told him she cheated on him with his best friend after he proposed to her, Edward vowed to give up on love and women. Bella Swan, they shy freshman at the Univ of Wash, catches his eye.  He fights to stay away, but can he? Love can heal many wounds if you give it a chance.  Travel with Edward to see if he gives into temptation while dealing with his tainted past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Broken Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Stephanie Meyers owns everything Twilight, but I own the plot! This is my first story I hope you all like it!!
> 
> This is the introduction and background to Edward, before he heads back to school. He is hurting and broken, give him a little love. He needs it.

Chapter 1 ~ Broken Heart

EPOV

Two weeks before the start of the semester, I was actually looking forward to returning to school which was kind of amazing considering the fucked up year I'd had. I had originally not wanted to attend college, but I kind of agreed to it for my parents' sake. I was a sophomore at the University of Washington majoring in pre-med with a minor in music. The music bit was my idea. It had always been part of my life since I was little. I played the guitar - well, used to play is more like it. I hadn't touched my baby in more than six months, but more on that later. I was hoping that getting away from Forks for another year would help me get over some of the lingering issues I have because of her.

Something happened during my freshman year at college, on Valentine's Day, no less. It totally blind-sided me. I never imagined in a million years that it would go down like it did. Looking back on it, I never saw any signs. As they say, love is blind. Fuck that cliché, but it rang true. I thought that we were in love; at least I knew I was in love, but I guess I was too naive. Because of what happened, my trust in women other than my mother and sister had gone to hell in a hand basket. I still had issues with my sister, but that was for other reasons. One thing was for sure - I would never give my heart to anyone like that again. I would not put myself in the position again to get hurt like that. Fuck them all!

My girlfriend was Tanya Denali - a bitch, and I'm being generous with that description now, and I was hoping she was going to become my fiancé and then after I graduated, we'd maybe even get married. That was my dream of course, but that went to shit when she told me she was having an affair with a friend of mine and that she was pregnant with his baby. I had been with her since my junior year of high school and at the time, I was more than halfway into my freshman year of college. I honestly thought she was my everything. She was supposed to become my wife, be the mother of my children. I could see my future with her when I looked into her crystal-blue eyes every time we made love. What a crock of shit!

I was going to propose to her during an incredibly romantic evening that I had planned for over a month. I reserved a room at one of the most sought-after restaurants in Seattle. I had it decorated with roses and candles everywhere. I wanted it to be special for her. I was there when she walked through the door, wearing the most beautiful red dress I have ever seen. It was a strapless, empire waist satin gown. It flowed openly with a slit up to her thigh. She was beautiful. Her strawberry colored hair was pinned up with loose strands falling around her face, and she was wearing just a touch of make-up. She was naturally beautiful. My heart skipped a few beats as she walked toward me, and my breathing became erratic.

She didn't come up to kiss me when she got to the table; which was unusual for her. The waiter helped her with her chair. Once she sat, I followed in my chair. My mouth was dry and my hands were shaking. I was so fucking nervous. I couldn't stop running my hands through my hair every thirty seconds. The waiter took our order, and when he left, I just began to stare at her. I moved my hand over to grasp hers, but she moved her hand back before I could take it. That should have gotten my attention, but no, of course not. I didn't think anything of it. Now Is just a good a time as any, I thought.

"Tanya?" My mouth felt parched.

"Yeah, Edward." She answered as she took a sip of water; fidgeting in her chair.

"You know how much I love you right?" I asked as I looked right into her eyes. She met my gaze and then suddenly looked away. Signs, right?

"Sure," she said nonchalantly.

"I was hoping to take our relationship to the next level. I know that I just started college, and I have a few years ahead of me before I graduate, but I wanted to let you know that I will love you for the rest of my life and you are the one for me. I want you to be in my life forever." She didn't look at me. Her gaze was focused somewhere in the distance. I started getting even more nervous; if that was even possible. I pulled the little black box out of my pocket and opened it.

"Tanya... honey," I said, causing her to finally look back over to me, and then look down at the box where her eyes grew wide. "I wanted to ask you something." I smiled at her.

"Edward, what are you doing?" she gasped as her breath got caught in her throat.

"Will you marry me? Make me the happiest man on this earth…" I trailed off as she quickly stood up from her chair and started pacing behind it.

"Tanya, are you okay?" I asked. I was getting concerned.

What was she thinking? She couldn't stop shaking her head. I heard a noise coming from her. I thought that maybe she was crying. Boy was I wrong. She didn't say anything at first, but out of nowhere she started laughing, and my heart shattered into about a million little pieces. What the fuck is going on? Where did this come from? What did I miss? I was about to find out what kind of fucked up relationship I really had with her.

When she finally stopped laughing, about two minutes later, she began to tell me why she couldn't marry me. First, she told me she never thought our relationship was that serious. I was just some sort of play thing to her. Second, she told me about James, the fucker and my friend, who she had been sleeping with before I graduated from high school. Thirdly, she found out the week before that she was four weeks pregnant with his bastard child. Of course it wasn't mine, and my heart was torn to shreds again. She was supposed to be mine, and we were supposed to have a family together. I knew the baby wasn't mine because we hadn't been together since Thanksgiving when I had made it home for the holidays. I had to pull myself together from sobbing out loud, her confession weighting on me heavily, nearly crushing me.

~*MoTH*~

I went home to Forks that night. I needed to be close to my family, but I wasn't ready to talk. The next day when I told Alice and Emmett what had happened, After some serious provoking from my dear little evil pixie of a sister, they were out for blood.

Alice was worried about me when I didn't get out of bed that morning. She knocked on my door, but of course, I wasn't up for company. My heart had been ripped from my chest, trampled on and torn to pieces. Alice, being Alice, wasn't having that. She just walked right into my room. Damn, I knew I should have locked my door last night. I had my covers up over my entire body, with my pillow over my head. Alice came and sat the end of my bed and shook me.

"Edward," she said lowly. I ignored her, which was a bad move.

"Edward!" she yelled and at the same time she tried to pull the cover off of me. I had a death grip on it. "What is your problem?"

"Alice, get out of my room!" I growled from underneath the covers.

"Not happening, Edward. Come on, what's the deal?" she asked in an annoyed tone.

"FUCK OFF, ALICE!" I yelled at her.

"DON'T YOU YELL AT ME, BROTHER! I didn't do a damn thing to you, you prick!" she shouted. She was getting pissed. I should have known better. She knew me better than I knew myself sometimes.

My voice was softer this time. "I'm sorry sis, but I don't want to talk about what happened, please."

"Uh uh, get from underneath the covers, Edward. What happened to you last night? You came home so late. We weren't expecting you home until next weekend. I thought you had a special night planned with Tanya," she asked with concern.

My heart clenched at the mention of her name. I didn't ever want to hear her name again. I could feel the anger building in my body and I immediately tensed. Alice felt the shift in my body.

"Edward, come on, you're starting to scare me." Her voice was cracking at the end of the sentence and I knew what would come next. Oh no, please don't. Then I heard it, the sniffle. SHIT! I'm in trouble now. I couldn't stand the thought of my sister crying. It broke my heart. I tossed the pillow off to the side of my bed, and I threw the cover off of me. I looked up at Alice and I could see the tears threatening to spill over. FUCK!

"I'm sorry, Alice. Don't cry. I'm fine, see," I said sitting up and placing my hand under her chin angling her head up to look into her eyes. "I just had a really fucked up night last night and I needed to get away from Seattle to be close to my family." She nodded, but of course it didn't stop there.

"What happened?" She moved closer to me. I sighed and rolled my eyes. She was pouting. Ugh! Damn it!

"I proposed to Tanya last night," I whispered.

She gasped and Emmett coughed in surprise. I looked over to where the noise came from. I didn't even know he was in there. I should have known she would have brought back up. If she couldn't get me out of bed, all he would have needed to do was toss my mattress, while I was still on it. I'm so not ready for this.

"W-Wh-What? I knew you had a special night planned, but I didn't think it was anything like that? How did I not see this coming?" She asked, as her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. My wannabe psychic sister thought she could see things that were supposed to happen in the future. She wasn't always one hundred percent accurate, but I still wouldn't bet against her. I snorted at her comment.

"Maybe it wasn't supposed to happen, obviously, because she didn't say yes," I said sarcastically.

All of a sudden all the emotions I was holding in wanted a release, but I fought to keep them back. I was not going to cry in front of my sister and brother, but I couldn't keep my voice from cracking.

"She laughed at me after I proposed. She told me that she had been fucking James for over a year and, to top it off, that she was pregnant with that fucker's kid," I said, still fighting back the tears, but also growing angrier by the second.

"SAY WHAT?" they both cried in unison.

I'm so not going to repeat that shit again. "Please don't make me say it again. It was hard enough to say it the first time," I said, pleading with them.

"I'm going to go kick her ass!" Alice growled, spitting mad. She was red with fury.

"I'm going to fuck him up, Edward. How could James do this to you? He has been your friend since high school." Emmett was marching around the room, beating his balled up hand into his other for emphasis. That man was always looking for a fight. I had to laugh inwardly just thinking about it. I told them both to just let it go. It wasn't worth it. She wasn't worth it, and I definitely wasn't worth it. It was my fault that it happened; I never saw the signs.

"SERIOUSLY!" Alice screamed at me. I cringed at her anger. It wasn't worth them getting involved. Tanya wasn't worth seeing my family get hurt, or arrested for that matter.

"NO WAY, BRO! They can't do that shit to you and get away with it," Emmett jumped up still pounding his fist into his hand. He wanted to hit something really badly. His face was beet red in anger.

"Come on guys," I said. "I can't handle this right now."

I sat back against the headboard of my bed, running my hands through my hair. It probably looked like shit. I'd been pulling it for hours out of frustration…and I was ready to pull it all out.

"Please, promise me that you won't tell mom and dad," I pleaded.

They both nodded, but I knew that wasn't going to last very long. As a matter of fact, my parents came up later that evening to see if there was anything they could do. Damn them! I told my parents no, but I asked them if they would mind if I stayed home for the week. I wasn't ready to go back to school yet. They understood, but I knew they were worried about me.

During the week at home, I shut myself off from my family. They tried to help me, but I locked myself in my own personal hell. I actually made it back to school the next week, but my classes suffered over the following weeks. I didn't want to concentrate on anything. After letting my grades slip and my professors threatening to fail me if I didn't turn in my work and participate in class, I decided to at least get my shit together in the one aspect of my life I could control.

I'd let my personal life go down the toilet, but my educational career I needed to manage. I was able to do some extra credit to make up for the assignments, quizzes and tests that I had missed during those few weeks, and I finished my freshman year with a three point eight GPA, surprisingly. I left in May to return home after the semester ended. I was glad to be going home to my family, but I didn't want to run into her.

~*MoTH*~

I still didn't talk to my family when I returned home. I was so used to being by myself, in my self-enforced seclusion. I stopped being social at school, so I was used to being alienated from everyone. All I did was focus on my classes. Even my music suffered. I stopped playing my guitar the day she blew my proposal off and strangled my heart. Good thing I didn't have any practicals for my minor yet. I didn't think I could have handled having to play.

I think God was playing with me the day I decided to venture out of the house for the first time in a month. I took a drive in my car to go into the city. I didn't know where I was going, but I figured I would know when I got there. Just for the hell of it, I decided to go to the music shop on the strip, and when I got out of my car, I turned around.

FUCK MY LIFE! ROYALLY!

I'll be damned if I didn't run into that bitch. I looked up into the sky and mouthed 'Seriously?' She was walking towards her car with bags in her hands. She was wearing jeans and a loose fitting shirt. Not loose enough, though, because I eyed the baby bump underneath. This was like a dagger to the heart! I pounded my fist on top of my car and growled under my breath. Fuck this shit! I got back in my car and headed home.

I continued to distance myself from everyone and everything in my life for the next couple of months. Poor Jasper. He had been my best friend since elementary school. Even he tried to help me out, to cheer me up, but I wasn't having it. I was a dick to everyone, including my parents. The more everyone tried to help, the more I pushed them all away and basically, in not so subtle words, told them to 'fuck off'. After awhile they let me be, and I fell back into myself, into my self-imposed hell of a universe. I couldn't believe I let a woman affect my life that way, but I thought I was in love with her. I was in love with her and that was what made it all suck so much. I thought she was 'the one'. Looking back, I truly didn't know shit! Argh!

My band was suffering as well as a result of my breakdown. Music had been my life before. It always soothed every fiber of my being, but after that night, I didn't believe I deserved it. I missed playing. I truly did. I couldn't even look at my guitar without wanting to break it against the wall. I hoped getting back to school would help me get away and deal with all the shit, or I was truly going to be fucked for the rest of my life. One damn thing was for sure, I would never trust another woman.

Now that the summer was ending, I needed to get ready to leave for school. I started packing my room up again. I was throwing away everything that had to do with Tanya. Even thinking her name made me want to puke. I tossed all that shit into a pile near my door. I will burn every last bit of it until it is nothing but ash!

When I finished packing what I felt like packing that time around, I stood against the wall and slowly slid down until I was on the floor. I was sitting across from my bed, and I glanced over at the pile of Tanya's stuff from the corner of my eye. I moved my head to just stare at it. After about five minutes, I put my head in my hands and began to cry.

WHAT THE FUCK!

I honestly thought I was going crazy. Before I felt the tears, I heard the sob escape my chest. I am fucking crying over a girl. How much more of a pansy can I become? Oh my God, I need to get a life! I closed myself off in my room again that night. I didn't have an appetite for food. I hadn't really eaten much those last few months. I knew I had lost some weight because my already baggy clothes had gotten even baggier over the summer. My mom and dad were seriously worried. The tried to talk to me sometimes, but when they would try, I'd just give them the death stare that told them to just drop it and leave me the fuck alone. My mother came up to my room the next day to check on me. When she walked into my room, I pulled the cover over my head and tried to ignore her.

"Edward?" She called my name and it was etched with concern. God I hate hurting her. I loved her, but she just didn't understand.

"Go away, mom," I whispered back to her calmly, not wanting to hurt her anymore with my words.

"Are you okay?" she asked, either not hearing what I had said or she's choosing to ignore me. I hoped it was the former.

"Mom, please go away!" I said with a little more force in my words. I didn't want to talk. I just wanted to crawl into myself and let my sanity go out the window.

"Edward, I'm not going anywhere until we talk. You are scaring your father and me." Her voice broke at the end, but being the dick that I was, I just rolled my eyes.

"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" I growled. Seriously! Why can't anyone take the hint?

"NO!" she exclaimed. Now, my mother very rarely raised her voice and the thought of this made me cringe, but I still didn't care. I brought the cover just below my chin so I could look at her and hopefully she would hear what I had to say.

"Mom, I don't want to talk. I just want to be left alone," I said my eyes pleading with her to understand, but when I finally looked into her eyes and saw all the hurt and confusion, my heart sank. I hated being the reason why it was there and she was hurting, but damn it, my heart was broken. I just wanted to wallow in self-pity. I didn't want to burden anyone with my issues, but I could see how this was affecting her.

"I'm sorry, Mom. I don't mean to make you upset. I just don't want to talk it," I said, my voice cracking.

"Oh, Edward, I'm just really worried about you honey," she cooed.

"I know you are. I'll be fine. I just need time to figure all this out. Maybe getting back to school will help me get over some of this. I just need to be away from here for a while," I explained to her.

"I hope so honey. I hate seeing you in pain knowing I can't do anything to fix it," she said, only that time it was her voice that was cracking. She looked like she was going to cry. Oh God! No! I can't stand this. This is a million times worse than my sister crying of course. Who the fuck wants to make their mother cry?

"I know. I'm so sorry Mom," I said, looking into her eyes. I saw the wetness threatening to fall. I couldn't stand it.

"Why are you sorry? You did nothing wrong," she asked incredulously as she ran her hand through my hair. I used to love when she did that when I was younger and right then, it actually felt good.

"It's all my fault!" I sobbed. She moved closer to me on the bed. She wrapped her arm around me and pulled me to her chest. She continued to run her hand through my hair, and I felt like I was five again. Wow, how I have missed my mother. She put her finger under my chin and pulled it up to meet her eyes.

"Why do you feel this is your fault?" she looked at me quizzically.

I sat up. "How could it not be? Tanya was cheating on me for over a year mom! How could I not see it?" The tears were still falling down my cheeks. "I never thought she could do this me," I cried as I reached up and clutched handfuls of hair and sobbed into my chest.

"Oh baby!" she cried out as she pulled my hands out of my hair and pulled me back into her chest. She wrapped her arms around me and just held me, rocking back a forth a little. About a minute later, I pulled away from her. I was so disgusted with myself and, I didn't want to impose on her.

"Stop, please!" I croaked. She looked at me with such concern and love. I didn't want or deserve any of it. I lay back down and pulled the cover back over my head. "Just leave me alone right now, please!" I begged.

"If you need anything, please let me know," she said as she emphasized anything. "I love you, Edward." She left and closed the door.

"I love you too, Mom," I whispered, but it was too late. Sighing, I rolled over and went to sleep.

The next week passed pretty much like the one before it. I locked myself away in my room, only coming out to eat and when I did, it was like I was a walking zombie. My family tried and tried to get me to talk, but I just pushed them away. Every time I looked at my mother, the hurt was emanating from her eyes. They always looked like they were on the verge of spilling over with tears, but I never saw them fall. That would have been my undoing. Alice tried everything to get me to talk. I loved her for trying, but even her hyper, cheery self couldn't bring me out of the hell I had put myself into.

My room was completely packed up, and I was finally ready to go. The pile of crap that was everything Tanya had been burned to ashes. I wasn't joking about watching it burn - it felt good, though I didn't let myself enjoy it for long. My heart that was shattered six months prior was still dead and cold. How can one person cause so much misery and distrust in another? How is someone supposed to recover from the hurt, the loss and the shock to their mind, body and soul? Thank God I leave for school tomorrow. I need to get away from all the fucking pain.

~*Twilightgirl224


	2. College Bound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is an introduction to Bella and a little bit of her background. She lost her best friend and is starting her freshman year at the University. Being away from your friends and family is hard for a young person, give her a little love – she's gonna need it soon.

Chapter 2 ~ College Bound

BPOV

I couldn't believe it was almost time to head off to college. It seemed like only yesterday when I moved back home to live with my father after my mother remarried. She wanted to travel with her new husband while he was on the road for the baseball minors. I wanted to give them space, so I told her that I would go live with my dad for a while. I was seventeen when I returned home. The last time I was there I was twelve. I hadn't seen my father in over five years, and it was an awkward ride after he picked me up from the airport. We barely spoke, but when you haven't actually talked face-to-face for five years?

It turned into more than just a while, but I didn't regret it. I love Charlie, but I didn't know how he survived when I wasn't living there. The man couldn't cook worth a damn. He ate at the diner almost every single day. We were similar in other ways. Our personalities were almost identical, and it made it easier to live with him. I cleaned and cooked. If I didn't, then I would have had to eat at the diner every day, and I wasn't having that.

When we got to the house, Charlie helped me carry my things to my room. It looked the same way I left it when I left five years ago. Typical Charlie - he was afraid of change. There were some new additions though; a desk for my laptop, a standing mirror, and he bought new bedding for my twin bed. He put my things down, stood there for about two minutes, and then said he would be downstairs. One good thing about Charlie is that he doesn't hover.

When I had arrived in Forks, there was only a couple months left of my junior year. I couldn't believe I made the choice to move in mid-term. What was I thinking? I hated being the new girl in school and the center of attention, but my first day wasn't too bad. I met a few students that day, and they quickly became some of my closest friends. Angela, Jessica, Mike, Tyler, Eric and I had become our own little clique. Angela and I were the closest out of our little group. Outside of school, my true best friend, Jacob, was my sun and savior. He helped me through almost everything. He attended the school on the reservation. Jacob was a member of the Quileute tribe and Billy, his father, was the chief.

Jacob and I were so close that we were more like brother and sister than friends. I would do anything for him if he ever asked and vice versa. We used to hang out all the time whenever I would come to visit my father. Our fathers had been best friends even before we were born.

There were some rough patches during my senior year of high school. Mike decided he wanted to try and start something of a relationship with me. I knew that Jessica liked him, and I didn't like Mike in that way. She wasn't happy when Mike would show more attention to me than her. It wasn't my fault, and even though I spurned his advances, Jessica still had issues with me. I didn't know what else to do. I told her that I had absolutely no interest in him. Hell, I even told Mike that, but he thought I was just playing hard to get. I literally had to tell him to back off or we weren't going to be friends anymore. I also told him that he must have been blind if he didn't see how much Jessica liked him. I guess he got the hint; they went on a date the following week.

Next, Tyler tried to get me to go out with him. Lauren, Tyler's ex, shot daggers at me with her eyes for weeks. What were these guys thinking? I never had any feeling for them outside of friendship. I still had no idea what they saw in me. Jessica was much prettier than I was. Lauren was such a bold person; she always spoke her mind. I never had that kind of initiative. I was just plain ole' Bella. There was nothing special about me. I was short, pale, and skinny. I was a jeans, t-shirt, and sneakers kind of girl. I didn't like dressing up. I didn't even wear make-up. Well, except for a little mascara and lip gloss, but that's it.

~*MoTH*~

What happened after New Year's hit close to home, literally. I never would have guessed that Jacob had feelings for me. Looking back on it now, I guess I missed the clues, but I wasn't looking for them. Jacob was like a brother to me and I didn't feel that way about him. When he had told me he was in love with me, I about fell over from shock. What the fuck!

"Bella, I…I have something to tell you," he said, nervously.

Now, you know, when someone says "I have something to tell you," it's not going to be good.

I looked up at him concerned and put my hand on his arm. "What's wrong, Jake?"

"Um…uh…um…" he said as he wiped his hand across his forehead. "I want to let you know something, and I don't want you to freak out, but I need you to know." He was looking straight into my eyes. "God, I thought I could do this smoother," he sighed.

"Now you're scaring me, Jake," I said, concerned. My breathing and heart rate had increased, and I tried to keep my body from shaking with fear.

"It's nothing bad. At least I don't think so," he said as he put his hand on my cheek and moved closer to me. "Bella, I'm in love with you," he said huskily.

I stepped back, out of his reach. This was not what I was expecting. Where the hell did this come from? Again, I ask, what is wrong with these guys? Argh!

"What did you just say?" I asked incredulously. He looked at me confused.

"I love you, Bella. I have loved you since you came back to Forks. I just finally got up the nerve to tell you," he said while moving towards me again.

"Where did this come from?" I asked him as I took a step backwards. What I really wanted to do was run to my room, curl into my bed, and pull the covers over my head.

"I've had these feelings for you for a while. Being with you is as easy as breathing for me. I can tell you anything, be anything for you," he said with conviction. He stepped even closer to me and took my hand in his. I don't want this!

"What about you and Leah?" I asked, trying to take my hand back, but he grasped it tighter.

"There is nothing between Leah and me, never has been. She's just a friend!" he spat. Yeah, right. That's not what I hear.

"I'm sorry, Jake, but I don't feel that way about you," I said heatedly, trying to get him to understand.

"I don't believe you!" he said, sounding almost hurt.

"Why don't you believe me?" I asked incredulously – I was getting seriously angry with him. "I don't feel that way about you!" I said forcefully as I pushed him back, though he barely moved. I finally snatched my hand from his, but he moved closer to me again.

"Bella, I know you feel something for me," he said in disbelief. I looked at him like he was crazy. "I can feel it," he said in a husky tone.

"There is nothing there for me, Jacob!" I said with a growl, narrowing my eyes at him. I moved towards him. Jacob took the chance with the close proximity of our bodies, grabbed my hand, and pulled me into him. He wrapped his arm around my waist and leaned into me. He lowered his head and put his lips to mine. I couldn't move. I was in total shock.

What the fuck!

When I began to twist and try to wiggle myself from his grasp, he tightened his hold on me. His mouth moved fiercely over my lips. I tried to push him away, but he didn't give up. He let the hand that was holding mine go and brought it up to cup my cheek. I took the chance to wiggle free from him. I pushed him as hard as I could, and when I got away from him, I looked him straight in his eyes, curled my hand into a fist and with all the force I could muster, I punched him in the face.

OW!

I wouldn't even let him know how much that freaking hurt. The anger I felt right then helped dull the pain that was shooting through my hand. I looked back at him, and he just stood there in a daze, like he was shocked that I hit him. What did he expect?

"How dare you!" I screamed at him. "I can't believe you did that to me!" I screeched the words between clenched teeth. I was furious with him. When I began to walk away, Jacob grabbed my hand, but I snatched it from his grasp immediately.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he said, pleading with me. "Please forgive me. I just wanted to show you how much you mean to me. I truly love you. I just wish I could convince you that you feel the same," he said, sounding defeated. He took a few steps back, and I watched as his face fell and his shoulders slumped over.

"I love you, but not in the way you think I do. You are like a brother to me. You are my sun and my warmth, but that is where it ends for me. I don't know what you think you know about my feelings for you, but I have never given you any indication that you could be anything more to me than my friend." I moved closer to him and placed my hands on both sides of his face, trying to get him to look at me, but he was avoiding eye contact with me.

"Jake, look at me please." My voice softened and his eyes slowly moved to meet mine. I could see all the hurt and pain showing in those deep black eyes. "I'm sorry that I hurt you, but it was never intentional. I wish I felt differently for you, but I don't. I wish I could take away the pain you are feeling." I looked into his eyes, showing him all my concern and sympathy for him. "I don't want to lose you. You are my best friend."

Jacob's head snapped up the moment I said that. "But you will always be more than that for me," he said as his voice cracked.

"Please stop. I can't change the way I feel, and I won't keep apologizing for it either," I said as my eyes started to fill with tears. Damn him for making me feel guilty. This was not my fault! There were never any advances and I never flirted with him.

Fuck my life!

Things between Jacob and me were tedious at best over the span of the following few months. He barely spoke to me, no matter how much I tried. His father always made some excuse when I called so he wouldn't have to come to the phone. He was acting like a child. I almost went over to his place to see him, but I was not going to be the one to put the distance between us. I also didn't want to see the pain in his eyes caused by my reaction to his confession.

~*MoTH*~

The months dragged by slowly. My life at school remained the same. My friends and I were anxiously awaiting graduation. In April, I got my acceptance letter from the University of Washington. When I saw the envelope in the mailbox, my heart about jumped into my throat and it took me nearly two hours to gather the nerve to open it. My father kept laughing and me and finally asked if I wanted him to open it for me. Of course not! When I finally opened the letter, I didn't even get past the first word Congratulations before I started to squeal with excitement, and I ran into the living room to hug my dad. He laughed and said how proud he was of me. I looked up into his eyes, and I could have swear that I could see the tears forming about ready to fall, but they never did. I called my mom to tell her the news and her squeals through the phone about rivaled my own. Even Charlie heard it. I looked over to him, and he was shaking his head.

My mom and dad were there when I graduated from high school. Mom and Dad's faces beamed with pride while mine was flushed from all the excitement. After graduation we went out to dinner. My mom and dad started talking about tuition and fees. They advised me that they were going to help me move into my dorm. This was the most they have talked to each other in years. I spent most of the summer getting ready for school.

~*MoTH*~

The last few weeks before term started I went to Florida to spend some time with my mom. She was such a carefree soul, and I had missed her so much. She took me around Jacksonville to some of the hot spots of the city. Of course she took me to some of the local beaches. Ponte Vedra beach was very beautiful and it was so different from La Push - it was much warmer! We took a walk through downtown then took a ride on the ferry along the St. John's River. We walked through Friendship Park after it got darker. I liked how the lights played on top of the water and how the Main Street Bridge and the Acosta Bridge lit up the night. It was really a beautiful sight.

On a spur of the moment, she decided we should go to St. Augustine for the day. She said we could shop, visit the lighthouse, and go on one of the ghost tours they had there. I thought it would be fun. As we drove down, we passed an outlet mall where you can buy all things designer. My eyes locked on the Converse store located in there. I made it a point to tell her we needed to stop on our way back and she laughed at me. I wasn't joking.

We finally made it to St. George Street in St. Augustine, the main strip location for tourists. They had so many shops and restaurants that contain just about whatever your heart desired. We ate at a fabulous Cuban restaurant there. Their food was to die for! We sat back and talked a little about school, what my goals were, and how proud she was of me. Then the subject turned to her and Phil. She would smile every time she said his name.

"So, what's Phil going to do when the season is over?" I asked her.

"They will go into training, which is good because their training location is here in Jacksonville. So we don't have to move or pick up again. Thank God," she said as she let out a long breath of relief.

"I thought you liked going on the road with him," I said confusedly. That was the whole reason why I moved back to Forks, to Charlie's place, my home.

"I did, in the beginning, but it got to be too much for me. I barely saw him, and when I got to spend time with him, he was to tired and fell asleep," she said with a laugh.

"Okay. Is that why you were trying to get me to move back home earlier this year?" I asked, a little annoyed.

"That and I really missed you, Bella. You're my little girl," she cooed as she put her hand over mine.

"I have never been a little girl, Mom," I said, laughing as I thought back at how much I took care of her growing up.

"So true, you have always been my little, middle-aged daughter. Sorry that I put you through all that growing up," she said, as her voice broke a little, and her smile started to fade. I put my hand on hers this time, comforting my mother, but it started to feel like I was being the mother, again.

"It's fine, Mom, I had to grow up a little quicker than normal, but I don't regret anything. I am happy. Look, I just graduated from high school and now I am about to head off to college. What can be better than that?" I asked as I looked up at her and smiled.

"I'm so proud of you, baby and don't ever think any different. I can't wait for you to graduate from college and make a name for yourself," she said as the tone in her voice changed and the look on her face made my breath hitch for a second, because I knew where this was heading. "Are you seeing anyone, Bella?" Oh no! I knew it. I wanna die -NOW!

"No," I huffed.

"Why not?" she asked. Oh, Mom, leave it alone. Why is she asking me this? Wasn't she the one who kept telling me, "You don't need a man to define you. Don't get married right out of high school. Live your dreams first! Argh! Maybe being married to Phil had changed her outlook on life a bit, but I was not ready to have this conversation with her. So I tried to change the subject.

"Hey, Mom, we need to get going if we still want to do the ghost tour before we have to leave. I still want to hit that Converse store also before we head home," I said, hoping to catch her off guard.

"Oh crap, yeah we need to go. It starts at seven-thirty," she said as she looked down at her watch. And that was all it took to move the subject off of my non-existent love life. She was so easy.

We left the restaurant and went off to do the ghost tour. It was interesting, but I couldn't help laugh under my breath at some of the things they said to get the people in the group scared. Some people are such pushovers. The tour ended about an hour and a half later and we just made it before the Converse store closed. I picked out a couple of new pairs of Chucks. One was a pair of black high-tops and the other was a dark green pair. They were just what I was looking for. We got back in the car and headed back to her house. I stayed in Jacksonville for another two weeks and then I headed home to Forks.

~*MoTH*~

When I finally got back to Forks, there was one week left before I had to head off to Seattle. My nerves had been getting the better of me, and doubt had weaseled its way into my mind. Was I strong enough to handle this on my own? Was I good enough? I finished getting things packed and ready. I wanted to make sure that Charlie had enough home-cooked food to last at least a week. When he came into the kitchen and saw what I was doing, he started shaking his head.

"Bells, don't worry about me. I've been taking care of myself for the past twenty years," he said as he laughed at me while I was packing up the food I made and stuffing it in the freezer.

"Yeah right, D,, Dad," I scoffed and rolled my eyes. "If I didn't do this for you, you'd be heading to the diner to moment I left." I laughed at him and all I heard was a mumbled 'hrmph.'

"There is nothing wrong with eating at the diner," he snorted.

"I know that, but home cooked meals are better for you," I stammered as I looked away from him, not wanting him to see the tears that had started forming. I was going to miss him so much.

Jacob still had nothing to say to me when I tried to call him to let him know I was leaving for school. This is beyond ridiculous; I did nothing wrong! I missed my best friend. I hoped things would start to look up when I finally got to the university. The next day was Thursday, and I would find myself on the road, making my way to Seattle. There I would officially become a college student.

Oh my God!

~ Twilightgirl224


	3. New Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edward finally arrives on campus and meets up with Jasper and his sister Alice. It's been awhile since he has spoken to any of them. So take special care - he's trying to come back to the land of the living.

Chapter 3 ~ New Beginnings

EPOV

I decided to leave a few days before classes started to get a jump start on check-in and get settled. Thank fuck that Jasper and I shared a room. I didn't think I could have handled some fucking stranger all up in my space. I hadn't hung out with Jasper like I used to. He had given me the space I needed. I barely talked to anyone after the whole proposal fiasco.

I unpacked my things and got my side of the room settled. I glanced over at my guitar leaning against the wall; I wasn't entirely sure why I brought it. The only time I even touched it was when I packed it in my car to bring it up here. I had no music left in me. It was lost the moment Tanya opened her mouth. Bitch! God I hate her!

It was Wednesday, five days before classes began, and I was curled up in my bed with the covers pulled over my head. Man, I am pathetic. All this shit over a woman. I needed to be a man and suck it up and never give my heart out to another woman. Wait! What heart? That's been dead and cold for months now, so there's nothing to worry about. I could use women like the way she used me. That was a sure fire way to not get hurt. I kicked the blankets off me and stared at the ceiling. With pure spite and determination I vowed to never let another woman into my life.

Jasper showed up on Friday. He opened the door with a loud bang and found me standing in the middle of the room with a look of surprise plastered on my face. He almost dropped everything in his hands. He was shocked to see me there; he'd probably thought I was going to drop out or something.

I smirked. "Hey dude, what's up?" I asked.

He looked at me like I'd grown another head. With one eyebrow raised, he asked…"You're talking to me now?"

"Yeah, um…ah, yeah, I'm sorry about that, Jasper," I sputtered as I ran my hands through my hair nervously. "I know I've been a total dick these past few months, but I've finally given myself a good kick in the ass to try and get my shit together."

He laughed, "Now that is something I would have paid to see!" He came over and slapped me on the back. It was good to see him again. I helped Jasper unpack and put his things away; we caught each other up on six months' worth of gossip. When he started talking about our band and what they did over the summer, I got pissed off. But that was my own damn fault. I had let the shit with Tanya run my entire life and I missed going off with the group to play at different venues. I felt a growl build in my chest; I was disgusted by my behavior. Jasper glanced my way and I shook my head, letting him know not to worry about it. I looked back at the Gibson leaning against the wall next to my bed. I missed playing!

Once we had everything put away, Jasper and I decided to go out and chill for a bit. There was a club near campus called Lucid. We decided to check out some of the local bands. They weren't too bad, but I knew that our band could run circles around them, at least when I played with them. They probably were better off without me, who knew? After about two hours I looked at Jasper.

"Hey man, you ready to go?" I asked.

"Yeah, in a few minutes," he said, looking back at me. Then his attention turned back to a group of girls that were standing near the stage. I moved my gaze over to the girls and then back to Jasper, snickering.

"Jazz, close your mouth, dude. Or do I need to get you a bib to catch the drool oozing from your mouth?" I asked jokingly, punching him in the arm.

"Fuck off, man; don't start with me. Anyway, when did your sister get into town?" he asked, pointing at the same group of girls.

What did he say? My sister? My head snapped over to the group of girls. There she was my little sister. How the fuck did I miss that? She was swaying to music with a couple of other girls. I looked closely at the blonde. Hah: it was Rosalie, you couldn't miss her. I didn't recognize the one to the left of Alice though. She was a little bit taller than Alice, not by much, but hell, everyone was taller than Alice. The girl had long mahogany hair. She was thin, but she had some curves on her. I couldn't really get a good look at her face even though she would glance over at Alice and Rosalie every now and then. Okay, stop staring, Cullen. It's time to go.

"Jazz, dude, I'm heading out. You staying or going?" I asked, standing up. I was on my way out when Jasper looked up at me and told me he was staying behind. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Fine, I'll see you back at the dorm room." I snorted and left him at the booth while he stared at Alice. He had it so bad. When I got to the door, I looked back to where Alice was standing, but my eyes quickly fell on the girl standing next to her. What the fuck is wrong with me,I wondered. I sighed and opened the door.

~*MoTH*~

I called Alice the next day to find out why she hadn't let me know she was in town.

"Alice, when did you get in?" I asked in a growl.

"Edward, don't you dare take that tone with me. You have no right! You never talked to anyone. You were the one who shut himself off from everyone, not me!" she screeched.

I was a little taken aback by her response. Softly this time, I said, "I'm sorry, Alice. I know it wasn't you; it was me. I just had to deal with things on my own." Then I whispered, "I missed you, lil' sis."

"Oh, Edward," she said, her voice wavering. I missed you too." I heard her sniffling into the phone.

"Alice, why are you crying?" I asked surprised. I hated it when she cried. I nervously ran my hand through my hair. I was pulling it so hard that I was surprised it wasn't coming out in clumps. Shit! Why was I such a dick to my family? "Alice?" I called her name again.

"I'm here, sorry. I didn't mean to cry. I … I … um, I just haven't talked to you in so long." Her voice resumed its normal tone again, but I could still hear the hurt in it.

"I know, and that is entirely my fault," I whispered, my voice trembling. I sat down on my bed and stared out the window, trying to keep the traitor tears from forming.

"Edward!" she yelled and it broke me out of my self-imposed darkness, "Are you there?"

"Yes," I said weakly, rubbing my hand over my eyes.

"That wasn't your fault. You just allowed it to consume you," she said, matter-of-factly. "You should have let your family help you. That's what we are there for." She sounded like she was going to cry again.

"I know that. I know that, but my stubbornness and pride that kept me from asking you guys for help. For two whole years she told me that she loved me, Alice. And I believed her!" I growled.

It felt like bile was rising in my throat. My heart was about to pound its way out of my chest; I thought I was about to have an anxiety attack. My hands were twitching; I was ready to throw something or punch a wall. I seriously needed to calm down before my room became a disaster area. I didn't need Jasper to come back and freak out on me either. I began to take slow, deep breaths in and out, to help get my heart rate down.

"Edward, calm down. Look, I know she hurt you. We all saw what she did to you, what she turned you into, but to know that you gave up on us - That is what hurt us the most. It killed Mom to see you like that, knowing there was nothing she could do to fix it," she said.

It made me feel like shit because Alice was laying a huge guilt trip on me. She knew she could; I deserved it. I treated them all like crap. I felt like the biggest asshole known to man. For over six months I walked around the house in my self-imposed hell that I had created. It took everything I had not to pull my hair out. Breathe, man.

The only thing I could muster was, "I'm sorry." I didn't know what else to say. God, I was pathetic. I needed help.

"Stop saying that!" she screeched through the phone. "Just get your shit together!" Alice very rarely swore and when she did you knew she was pissed off. I almost had to laugh because it was weird to hear my sister curse. I must have snorted into the phone because all I heard from her end of the phone was a growl. Oh shit!

"Edward Anthony Cullen: Are you freaking laughing at me now?" she shrieked.

"No," I whimpered. I fucking whimpered. I hated it when she used my full name. I felt like I was being scolded by Mom. A shiver ran down my spine. Fuck!

"You had better not be." She giggled. What? She was giggling now? I thought she was mad at me. I rolled my eyes. I had to get back to the reason for my call.

"So, when did you get into town?" I asked nonchalantly.

"Thursday night," she said. "I ran into Rosalie on Friday," I heard the smile in her voice.

"I know," I quipped. I heard her gasp into the phone and I smiled. "I saw both of you at Lucid last night. I was there with Jasper. He couldn't take his eyes off of you." I snorted and then I heard a sharp intake of breath. I had to stifle the laughter that was building. I knew that they liked each other. Why didn't they just act on their feelings?

"You saw me?" she asked nervously.

"Yes. You were up at the stage with Rosalie and some other girl," I snickered, but my mind quickly wandered to the girl who had her arm laced in Alice's last night. I wondered who she was for about ten seconds. Wait, I didn't care who she was! Come on now fucker, get your act together.

"Who? Bella?" She asked. So, that was her name. Hmm...

"I don't care who she is. I just saw you at the club that's all," I scoffed disinterest.

"Edward, don't be such an ass," she said. "It wasn't like I was going to set you up with her," she laughed. I remembered that laugh and I suddenly got nervous. Damn wicked, fucking, conniving pixie.

"Ha ha, very funny shorty," I said, trying to distract her. "So, what are you doing today?"

"Nothing much. I am almost ready for when classes start, why?" she asked, her interest piqued.

I sighed. "No reason - just wondering."

"Oh," she whispered, sounding hurt.

"I'm kidding, sis." I laughed. "Do you want to go get some lunch?"

"Sure, what time? Do you want to meet somewhere?" she asked enthusiastically.

"How about one-thirty? We can meet up at the commons," I said looking at Jasper's clock. I went to the mirror. Maybe I should freshen up before I see her? Nah! I hated shaving anyway.

"Okay, I'll see you then," she said excitedly.

I laughed. "All right, short stuff, bye."

"Bye!" she squealed as she hung up.

I started to feel nervous again for some reason. I wasn't sure why: she was my sister for Christ's sake.

After I hung up with Alice, I glanced back at the clock: eleven-thirty. I wasn't going to shave, but I washed my face and brushed my teeth. I hadn't changed the clothes I was wearing since yesterday, gross! I threw on a pair of dark jeans and one of my band shirts then looked in the mirror. I looked okay, I guess.

~*MoTH*~

It was one-forty-five when I left my room to meet up with Alice. As I walked to the commons, the area wasn't too packed with people. Most of them were in the quad and housing part getting checked-in. I still wasn't comfortable around lots of people yet, so I walked with my head down and my hands in my pockets. It was my 'leave me alone' stance.

I got to the commons a few minutes early. I didn't see Alice and I panicked a little: maybe she wasn't coming. I deserved it; I did treat her like shit for most of the year. I looked around again then I saw her. My heart stopped for a second. My little sis walked through the buildings and looked around. Is she searching for me? I waved to get her attention. She saw me and a huge smile broke across her face. She ran toward me. When she got to me, she jumped in my arms. Man, I had missed her. I held her tightly, I didn't want to let her go, but I had to.

I pulled back to look at her. Her hair was a bit shorter, but it had always been short and spiky. I looked at her face and then into her eyes; they were glassy, like she was on the verge of tears. She must have seen the same in mine because her eyebrows creased.

"Edward? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, sorry. I didn't realize how much I missed you until I saw you," I said as my voice cracked.

The smile that disappeared for a moment was back on her lips again, "It's okay, Edward. I'm here now," she cooed, running her hands through my hair playfully.

I grinned. I was such a schmuck. "You ready to eat?" I asked her.

"Yeah, I'm starving!" she exclaimed.

I had to laugh. "Let's go, then."

We spent the time catching up. I felt like a stranger as I listened to her talk about things that had happened to our family over the summer. Alice had received a full scholarship for the design program. Although she didn't need it, she was excited about being awarded it though. I congratulated her and she beamed.

I found out my mother had started her own interior design company. I couldn't believe it! My mother was awesome when it came to designing homes and offices. She was always re-arranging things at home and she gave decorating advice to people about to set up their homes. I was so happy for her.

My father became chief of staff at the hospital. He still hung around the ER although. That had always been his life's blood. Other than his family, he lived and breathed the ER. He always felt that he could do the most good with patients there. He still performed surgeries and practiced other avenues of medicine, but he always found himself back there.

Hearing about all this from Alice instead of seeing it for myself made me die inside a little. My stupid pride had kept me from my family and all of their accomplishments. Damn! I could feel the tears invading my eyes, but I kept them at bay. I didn't want to worry Alice. I allowed her words to wash over me. I watched the images dance around in my mind. My attention snapped back into the present when she mentioned the club from last night. She told me about Rosalie and Emmett. Emmett was arriving tonight. He and Rosalie were sharing an apartment off campus. I guess their relationship was more serious than I remembered.

Then Alice began to talk about the roommate she had this year. She was the girl from the club. She was so animated when she talked about her. She told me she found out that Bella went to the same high school we did. Funny, I didn't remember a girl named Bella who went to school there. Then again, I was much too into Tanya to care about anyone else. Her father, Charlie Swan, was the chief of police. I knew all about Chief Swan. I had a few run-ins with him when I was younger, nothing bad, just stupid misdemeanors. But after my break-up with Tanya, he caught me speeding a few times. I was trying to drive out my frustration and anger. I didn't know he had a daughter, though it wasn't something I cared to know about at the time. I was angry and my heart was broken. Alice continued to talk, and I only half listened because my mind was dragging me back to the darkness that had claimed me back then.

I looked at Alice. I could see her lips moving but I couldn't hear what she was saying.

She finally waved her hands in front of my face, yelling, "Edward? Edward?" As she tried to get my attention her brow furrowed.

"What did you say?" I looked at her, struggling to clear the haze in my mind.

"Are you all right?" she asked, concerned.

"Yeah, sorry, I just kind of went to a bad place for a moment. I didn't mean to do that," I sighed and looked away. "Can we call it a day, sis?"

"Um, yeah sure," she said looking worried, and she placed her hand over mine. "Are you sure you are going to be okay?"

"I'll be fine, I just need to get my shit together that's all," I said angrily, but it wasn't directed at her. I was disgusted with myself. I needed to calm down because my sister wasn't going to let that fly. "Besides, Jasper and I need to get ready for classes on Monday. We are going to spend Sunday finishing setting up the room, and get all our stuff together for each class." That was such a low blow, using Jasper like that. I snuck a peek at her and she was blushing. One mention of his name and her body betrayed her. I wanted to laugh my ass off; she had it so fucking bad!

"Um…ye-yeah…o-okay," she stuttered, barely able to get it all out. This time I did laugh. She looked at me and scowled. I kept laughing until I had tears falling down my cheeks. I grabbed her hand as we got up from the table and I held it as we made our way back to the commons.

"See ya later, shorty," I said as I pulled her into a hug.

"Don't be a stranger, bro." She said and I nodded once before turning around and walking towards my dorm building.

~*MoTH*~

Sunday passed quite easily. Jasper and I had managed to get through everything that needed to be done, listening to music all the while. God, how I missed playing music. We went to bed a little after eleven that night. Even as we lay in bed we stayed up talking about nothing. It was kind of nice.

Later that night, I jumped up in bed screaming from a nightmare I had. Obviously Jasper was dead to the world because he didn't move. I glanced over at the clock – five- fifteen in the freaking morning. FUCK ME! Please, not tonight. I've got class in less than four fucking hours. I went to the kitchenette to get a drink of water. This was a fucking joke. Why did these have to start again? Because I was going crazy. There was no doubt in my mind - I was losing it. It had been a couple months since I had had them, but they weren't this bad.

I leaned against the wall and sipped my water. I looked down at the glass and the water had ripples running through it. Then I looked at my hand, it was shaking. What the fuck was going on?

I slammed the glass down on the counter and walked back to bed. I sat down on the edge of the bed; I put my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. I had to find a way to slow my heart rate down as I felt the trembling course through my body. I slowed my breathing down, trying to relax my body. After about ten minutes, the trembling stopped. I ran my hands over my face and into my hair, tugging at it lightly. I took in one final deep breath and exhaled before I lay back down in my bed; thirty minutes later, I was asleep.

~*XXX*~

The fucking blaring sound of my alarm clock was not a welcoming noise that morning. I slammed my hand on it to get it to stop. It didn't stop until I threw it on the floor and I smiled. Jasper shot up in his bed, almost falling out onto the floor. I laughed. Oh now he moves! What a fucking way to being my first day of classes.

~*Twilightgirl224

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think of this...love all forms of critiques, criticism, opinions.


	4. A Fresh Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter Bella moves up to Seattle to go to college. She meets Alice, who is her roommate. She also meets Rosalie, Alice's best friend. They learn that each other went to the same high school. Bella is introduced to Alice's brother, Edward - not face to face, but she can't get over his picture. She learned a little bit about him, but only what she hears from a one-sided conversation. She is surprised by her reactions!

Chapter 4 ~A Fresh Start

BPOV

I arrived on campus on Thursday afternoon. I wanted to make sure that everything was settled before classes before classes started on Monday. My parents drove up with me so they could help me move my things into the dorm; I drove my truck while my parents used Billy's truck. I really didn't have much, but the boxes took up a lot of space.

I felt so small, insignificant compared to the size of the campus. I don't think I'm ready for this. I felt a sharp pain shoot through my bottom lip; I hadn't even realized I was biting it. It was a habit of mine when I got nervous. I rolled my eyes. Get a grip, Swan! I dug through my stuff and found the campus map so I could find my way to freshman registration and orientation then to housing check-in. Luckily, there were plenty of signs placed around the Campus to keep me from getting lost.

I found the tables set up in the quad area for registration. There weren't that many people on campus considering that the official check-in time would begin the next day. Of course the tables were set up alphabetically by last name. I snorted. It's just like high school. My parents caught up with me to help. They wanted to make sure I got everything I needed.

I signed in and received a copy of my class schedule. I also got a packet of information about the school and other school-related activities. Then we made our way over to the housing check-in area. After a short wait, I signed the housing agreement and was given a key to my room. The assistant advised me to take advantage of the small amount of students here right now and go get my student ID. Ugh! I hated having my picture taken, but I needed to get it over with before there were a bunch of other students around.

My parents accompanied me to the main office building. We followed the signs and arrows pointing us in the direction of the ID office. As soon as I walked in, my face fell. It seemed like the other students already on campus had the same idea and were all stuck in this room. I sighed and looked over at my parents, who shrugged and snickered at my expense. They knew my aversion to pictures, or for that matter anything that could potentially make me the center of attention. My mother winked at me and put her arm around my shoulders.

I felt my nervousness begin to subside a bit. I took a deep, long breath and slowly let it out. After about fifteen minutes, I finally made it up to the counter. I was greeted by the smiling face of the office assistant working the camera; she wasn't much older than me. She must have sensed my uneasiness because she tried her best to get me to smile, but that wasn't going to happen. I looked at the picture when I got my ID card and I rolled my eyes. Great! I look like a deer caught in headlights. I quickly shoved it into my back pocket and hoped to God I'd never have to use it. Yeah, right! I scowled at the thought. My parents took one look at my expression and started laughing. Damn them.

~*MoTH*~

We ended up at my dorm room shortly after I got my ID. I put the key in the door and opened it slowly. I had no idea what I was expecting, but when I walked in I was a little taken aback a bit. The room was not that much bigger than two of my old rooms put together. How are two strangers supposed to live and share a room together for a year? There was no "personal" space. This was going to be interesting.

I slowly walked into the middle of the room and did a complete three-sixty; taking a quick a quick survey of the room. The walls were stark white. There was one twin bed on each side, a small kitchenette off to the right and a very small bathroom on the left. There were two student desks behind the beds flushed up against the walls, and a closet, if you could call it that, next to the bathroom. There wasn't much "living" space. We would have to make do with what was here.

I was fretting about what my roommate was going to be like. What would she want to do with the room? I looked back over to where the kitchenette was. There was a small fridge and two small burners. At least there was a way for me to cook. The best way to describe the room would be to compare it to a very small studio apartment, but made for two.

My parents and I began to unload both trucks, and we piled everything in the center of the room as we went along. After a while I looked over at them; they looked as exhausted as I felt.

"You want to take a break?" I asked them.

"Yeah," my mother spoke up. "You want to go get something to eat?"

"Sounds good to me. Dad?" I looked at my father.

"Sure. I'm starving actually," he said with a smirk. Dork. Mom and I both laughed at him.

I turned away from the job I knew I had to work on later. I grabbed my bag and we left. We decided to take Billy's truck, which was a good thing because mine would have been a little uncomfortable. We would have been on top of each other in the seat.

"So what does everyone feel like for dinner?" Mom asked.

I looked at her. "Doesn't matter to me," I said nonchalantly. My dad glanced over to my mom and then he looked into the rearview mirror at me and grinned.

"How about Italian?" he asked. He knew my weakness for Italian food.

I shrugged, trying to play it cool. "Okay, works for me."

"Same here," Mom said in agreement.

We drove around the University District for a bit. We began to head down 45th Street and came up to a place called Ciao Bella, an Italian restaurant. I rolled my eyes and laughed lightly. How freaking appropriate. Dad parked the truck and we headed into the restaurant. The waitress sat us in a booth. Mom scooted next to me and Dad sat across from us.

"So are you excited, Bella?" Dad asked after about five minutes of awkward silence.

"What…about school?" I asked.

"Yes." He chuckled.

"Yeah…kind of," I said quietly as I looked down at my hands. "I'm more nervous, but also kind of excited."

My mom grasped my hand. "Why are you nervous, baby?" she asked, concerned.

"Because I'll be here all by myself," I whimpered, trying to keep the tears at bay.

"Oh, honey, we are only a phone call away and your father is just a few hours' drive from here," Mom cooed as she brushed my hair back behind my ear.

"I know," I said meekly. "I'll be fine after a few days, once I start classes and get a routine down."

"Of course you will, Bells. Isn't that supposed to be all part of the college experience?" Dad asked teasingly. I snorted.

"What?" he huffed, looking puzzled.

Both my mom and I burst out laughing. "Nothing," we said in unison.

He sat back and crossed his arms over his chest with a "hrmph." We doubled over laughing. I so needed that. A little of the nervousness eased out of my body. We sat there eating and talking about what courses I was taking, and what my possible plans would be during the winter break. I advised them I would have to play it by ear given class assignments, finals, or whether or not I was working.

If I found a job that semester, I might not be able to make it home. The thought of that made me sad. If I didn't have to work, I would end up at Charlie's place. When I mentioned that, a big grin swept across my father's face, and I knew the reason why. He knew if I was going to be home, I would take care of the holiday meal.

After a couple hours, I told them that I needed to get back to the dorm so I could finish unpacking. The drive back to campus was silent. I knew my parents were going to have to leave me tonight, and I was going to spend my first night at college by myself. My eyes began to tear up. I turned my head to look out the window and gazed at the scenery as we passed by. My nerves began to rattle a bit thinking of the pending separation, but I knew this was part of life and I would have to get used to it.

We arrived back on campus, and my parents followed me to my room. Once we got inside, I looked at the pile of boxes in the middle of the room. Ugh! I am not looking forward to this. I slowly moved to the middle of the room and ran my hand across the first box I saw. I opened it and looked inside; it was all my bedding. I took it out and tossed it on my bed. Good, one box down. I continued to open the boxes and put the contents in their corresponding areas. After about an hour, the boxes were empty and my things just needed to be organized and put away. It was about seven when my father looked down at his watch.

"Hey, Bells, I think it's time for us to head out." He looked up at me, his eyes showing a touch of pain.

"I know," I whispered. "I'm glad you guys were able to help me out and get me moved in here."

"Anytime, baby," my mother said. "You know that!"

I tried to feign a smile, but she could always see right through me.

"Everything is going to be okay, Bella," she said. She gave me a big hug, and I felt myself holding on to her tighter.

A tear escaped and fell onto her shoulder. Good thing my dad didn't see that; he was already uncomfortable as it was. I let my mom go and looked at my dad. I wondered if I should give him a hug. He answered my unspoken thought by opening up his arms for me, and I leapt into them.

"I'm going to miss you, Bells. Try to make it home for Thanksgiving," he said, his voice cracking.

"I will, Dad," I said when I pulled away from him. I looked at both of them. "I love you both."

"We love you too," they both said at the same time and I couldn't help but laugh. I watched as they turned and walked out the door. I slept alone for the first time in my life without the security of knowing someone was down the hall. I tossed and turned all night.

~*MoTH*~

I groaned when I looked over at the clock. It was eight. What the hell! Seriously? I dragged myself out of bed, took a shower and got dressed. I picked up some of the things I had left last night and put them away. It was around noon when the door to the room suddenly opened, and I about jumped out of my skin. I knew to expect it, but it just took me by surprise.

In walked this tiny girl, smaller than me, even. She had short, spiky black hair and bright blue eyes. She took one look at me and a huge smile broke out across her lips. Behind her followed a young-looking woman with deep bronze hair and green eyes, and a young-looking gentleman with blonder hair and blue eyes, whom I assumed to be her parents. They introduced themselves to me as Esme and Carlisle Cullen, and the little ball of energy was their daughter, Alice. This is going to be very interesting, I thought to myself.

As if she was answering my unspoken thought, Alice chimed in. "We are going to have so much fun!" she squealed, her face beaming as she jumped up and down. Oh yeah! Fun! I thought sarcastically.

I helped Alice where I could, or actually, where she would let me. She told me she liked handling it all herself. I watched while she worked. Every now and then she would start humming or singing to herself. When she would sing, in a high-pitched tone, it wasn't bad, but it wasn't good either. She was very meticulous when she was putting things away or setting them up on her side of the room. Her section of the closet was colored coded and set by designer.

She told me that she was majoring in fashion. Well, that explained all the name brand clothes, shoes, and bags. The shoes that she wasn't able to place in the closet - and she had tons - she placed under her bed in a storage container. When she was done with the closet, I self-consciously looked over at my section. My things consisted of nothing but jeans, t-shirts, Chucks, and flats.

While Alice was organizing up her desk, she set her pictures out. I assumed they were of her family, but my eyes shot directly to the one where she was standing with two other guys. She was standing in between the both of them; she looked so small next to them. The bigger of the two guys was on her right, and he was BIG! He had short black hair and blue eyes. He was very muscular, kind of goofy looking, but cute. He was smiling in the picture, and I could make out the dimples on his cheeks. Too cute!

My eyes made their way to the other guy in the picture. I couldn't stop staring. He was the most amazingly gorgeous guy that I have ever laid eyes on. He was tall. He had beautiful bronze colored hair. It was messy but sexy. It was what I would call the "just fucked look," yum! His chiseled cheeks and jaw were picture perfect. He had a little bit of scruff growing on his chin. What I wouldn't do to run my fingers through that! OH MY GOD! What am I thinking? Where the hell did these thoughts come from? I don't even know him. I shouldn't even be thing like this. Oh, but I can dream! *sigh*

I moved closer to the picture and stared into his eyes. They were bright emerald green. He must have gotten them from Esme, but her eyes were a different shade of green. I could totally get lost in those eyes. STOP! I gave myself a mental slap. You need to get a grip. I hadn't realized that I sighed outwardly again until I heard Alice giggling softly next to me.

"I'm sorry, Alice," I said, embarrassed. I felt the heat coming off my cheeks.

"It's all right." She snickered. "Those are my brothers." She pointed to each, giving me their names. "This is Emmett." She pointed to the one on the right. "And this is Edward." She motioned to the one on the left.

"They look nice," I said while I stared at Edward.

"Yeah, they are, and they're very protective of who they care for," she said with pride. "Do you have any siblings?"

"No," I said, suddenly looking down. "I always wanted them, but my parents divorced when I was younger and I was their only child."

"That bites. I don't know what I would do without my brothers," she said with a shudder at the end of her statement. What was that about?

"Yeah, but my best friend back home was kind of like my brother. He was there almost all my life," I said and my voice was wavered a bit. I missed him so much. "Well…at least he was until earlier this year," I said with a sigh.

"What happened?" Her brows furrowed. "Something bad?"

"It's a confusing situation, more of a misunderstanding, and he didn't take it very well," I said as a lonely tear rolled down my cheek.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you," she said quickly, getting up to give me a hug. I was a little shocked.

"It's all right." I hugged her back, still a little shocked. She doesn't know me. We had only met two hours ago, but she made me feel like I could talk to her, so I did.

"We haven't spoken since New Year's," I sniffled. "I can't change anything that happened, but I had hoped he and I could have worked through it. But he didn't even want to try."

"What happened, if you don't mind me asking," she asked. But she looked like she still wanted to comfort me.

I huffed. "Jacob, that's his name, told me that he was in love with me." I was still a little miffed remembering that night.

"And you didn't feel the same way?" she asked looking me directly in the eyes.

"No, he is like a brother to me, like I said. I never thought of him in any other way," I said, annoyed. Her eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Really?" she asked in amazement.

"Yeah, why do you look so surprised?" I asked incredulously.

"Nothing," she said with a wicked smile that threw me back. "You just don't act like the 'typical' girl." Wait? WHAT? What is that supposed to mean? I stared at her a little flustered.

"Wh-What do you mean by typical? You don't know me!" I stammered.

"I didn't mean to offend you. I meant that as a compliment, honestly." She seemed hurt by my statement. "You are different, in a good way. You have this aura about you. Nothing like the other people I used to know. I used to go to school with a girl named Jessica Stanley…" Her voice trailed off when she saw my reaction.

My eyes had widened and my eyebrows shot up in surprise. She was talking about my friend. She continued, "She had this thing for my brother but when he wouldn't give her the time of day, she tried to get her hooks into a guy named Mike Newton…" She looked up at my expression and her voice trailed off again, but she didn't continue this time.

"Mike Newton? I knew him. I went to school with him and Jessica Stanley. Jessica definitely had some issues." I laughed.

"Wait! You went to Forks High School?" she asked, surprised by my statement.

"Yeah, I showed up toward the end of my junior year," I said, still laughing.

"I went there too! So you were in my graduating class…" She stopped talking when she saw the confused yet amazed look on my face.

"Wait! Hold on! Cullen…oh my God!" I exclaimed. "You were in my biology class during my junior year and then in my English class during my senior year," I said, looking at her. "Man, I used to watch you guys at lunch all the time." I blushed big time after I made that remark.

"I can't believe I said that. I'm so embarrassed!" I hid my face in my hands.

"It's all right, girl. Most people watched us. We kind of stood out from the rest of the population. My parents have money. We dressed very well and we mostly kept to ourselves," she said matter-of-factly.

"I just didn't want you to think I'm some kind of freak or crazy stalker," I laughed nervously.

"Nah, it's all good," she said, touching my hand. "Though I kind of wish I met you in high school. You are my kind of people. I think we could have been best friends back then." She winked at me and I giggled.

I snorted, thinking back on the way I was back then. "I highly doubt it. I am a shy person and such a klutz, and you…are you. I used to hang out with Angela, Jessica, Mike, Eric, and Tyler when I was in school."

"Wow, really? How did you handle Jessica?" she asked, a smile dancing on her lips.

I couldn't help but laugh because I knew where she was heading with this. "I didn't really do anything. I just let her be herself. She was one crazy person, and she always acted like she was better than everyone. When she tried to get with Mike, he kind of put her in her place."

I remembered the day he told her that he would never be interested in her while she was so into herself and treated everyone else like they were garbage. "It was hilarious but frightening because he basically told her that she had to be more like me before he would even give her the time of day," I said, laughing.

Alice doubled over with laughter. "Seriously? I wish I could have seen her face!"

I laughed harder, barely able to respond. "Priceless…is all I'm saying!" Tears welled up in both our eyes from laughter.

We both continued to laugh at Jessica's expense. Oh well, it was all her fault anyhow; she brought it all on herself. I never really liked her. When we finally caught our breath and wiped the tears that had fallen from our eyes, we decided to finish getting Alice unpacked. When we were done, Alice asked if I wanted to go with her to a club. I had never really been out before. There was never really anything to do in Forks except for going to La Push and to visit Jake. I needed to try new things. After hesitating for a moment, I agreed. Alice told me to go shower and change because it would take her a while to get ready. I laughed and headed off to the bathroom.

It took me all of thirty minutes to shower, change and make myself somewhat presentable. Alice saw me and grimaced a little. When I told her this was all I had, she laughed and said we would work on that. What did she mean by that? She whole -heartedly insisted on doing my hair and make-up, but I glared at her and told her no way. Who did she think she is? She said okay...for now. Again, I had no idea what she meant by that.

We were dressed and ready to go about an hour after Alice was finished getting herself together. I offered to drive, but she said no way, she liked driving her car. We walked to the parking lot and stopped in front of a yellow sports car - a Porsche. My jaw dropped and Alice started giggling.

"You like?" she asked.

"Um, th-this is yours?" I asked, stunned almost speechless.

"Yeah, I got this for graduation. My parents gave it to me. I totally love it!" she squealed, beaming with excitement. Good thing we didn't take my truck. I'm in way over my head. Sigh!

We ended up at a place called Lucid. It was a club that played live music. Alice's friend, Rosalie, met us there. When she walked up to us, my breath got stuck in my throat. She was drop dead gorgeous. She was blonde and had curves in all the right places. She could be a supermodel. I knew I was definitely in way over my head. These people were beautiful and I was me…just plain Bella. I really needed to quit while I was ahead. I tried to stand a few feet away from Alice and Rosalie, but Alice would have none of that. She wrapped her arm around mine and pulled me toward her. I looked at her confusedly. She looked back at me and shook her head like she knew what I was doing. I huffed and turned back to the stage to listen to the music.

While we listened to the band play, Alice asked Rosalie about her brother Emmett. I looked at her with confusion on my face. Alice laughed and said Rosalie was dating Emmett. Then out of the blue, Alice told Rosalie that I might be a good match for Edward. I froze immediately in my spot. I felt the heat rising in my body and my jaw was literally on the floor. That is so not going to happen.

I shook my head nervously. The look on my face hopefully conveyed "Are you fucking serious?" and I didn't swear that often. She just laughed at me. I could not even begin to think where that notion came from. I was not in the same league as them, not even remotely close. Ugh! She was so exasperating. I flat out told her not to even think about it.

"Why not?" she asked angrily and that surprised me. "You couldn't stop looking at his picture earlier today!"

I knew my face at that moment changed to the brightest red known to man. I can't believe she said that. How could she do that to me? What is wrong with her? I'm gonna kill her…slowly. While I continued with my internal dialogue, I heard giggling that quickly turned into full out wanting-to-roll-on-the-floor-laughter. I turned to stare at Alice then to Rosalie. She had tears streaming down her face. I turned to storm off, but Alice caught my arm before I even moved an inch.

"Aw come on, girl. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to embarrass you like that, but I truly think you would be great for my brother. He went through some stuff about six months ago, and he hasn't quite recovered," she said as a frown formed on her face.

I scoffed, "I don't want to be a rebound girl for anyone." I glared at her.

"You wouldn't be. He's been alone since Valentine's," she said quickly. I looked at her, perplexed. She shook her and said, "Long story and it's not mine to tell."

"Okay." I shrugged. "I honestly don't think it's a good idea, Alice," I muttered as I looked down at my hands.

"Why not?" she asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" I huffed, waving my arms in the air.

"Um, obviously not!" she said, and I heard the anger in her voice seeping though again.

"I'm nowhere in the same league as you guys. You are all beautiful and gorgeous. I'm just me…nothing special, just plain Isabella Swan," I said in surrender, trying to get my point across to her. She wasn't buying it.

She snickered. "Ha! You don't see yourself clearly, do you?" She looked at me in amazement.

"I'm glad I can amuse you. Can we please talk about this later?" I begged her.

"Fine, but I'm not giving up on you two!" she sang.

I sighed and asked if we could head back to the dorm room. She agreed and asked Rosalie if she wanted to join us. She rolled her eyes but agreed. We ended up back at the room in less than twenty minutes and stayed up talking until about three in the morning. We talked about our classes for this semester and what we wanted to do after we graduated. Rosalie talked about Emmett - Alice's brother - her boyfriend. Alice talked about a guy that she liked and Rosalie snorted at a couple statements she made. When they were finished they both looked at me to contribute to the conversation but I just shrugged nonchalantly. Like I had anything to say. *sigh*

~*MoTH*~

Alice was up at nine. God, she had more energy than I knew one person could have. She got up, showered, and got dressed - I mean dressed as in a nice designer outfit and hair and make-up done. It was like she was prepared to go shopping on Rodeo drive, but in Seattle. Wow! Rosalie left while Alice was in the shower. When Alice was done, she grabbed a granola bar and some orange juice for breakfast. Her cell phone went off around ten thirty. She looked at her phone and gasped. She just stared at the phone for a few seconds before she answered it.

"Edward?" She answered it with a confused tone.

He must have said something seriously wrong because she flew back at him with a vengeance. "Edward, don't take that tone with me. You are the one who shut yourself off from everyone, including me!" she all but screamed into the phone. I looked at her nervously. She was seriously pissed. What did he say?

"Oh, Edward," she said with a touch of pain. Now what? That was a complete one-eighty. "I missed you too," she said, sniffling. I got up out of bed and handed her some tissues. She mouthed, "thank you", before turning her attention back to the phone, tears falling from her cheeks.

"I'm here, sorry. I didn't mean to cry. I…I…um, I just haven't talked to you in so long. Her voice wavered, but she had calmed down a bit.

"Edward," she called into the phone. "Are you there?" She was getting nervous, and she took a deep breath. "This wasn't your fault. You just allowed it to consume you." What the hell was she talking about? What could possibly have happened to him? Who could have hurt that beautiful man?

Alice continued. "You should have let your family help you through your issues. That's what we are here for," she said as her voice started to waver again. A couple of tears escaped her eyes. She mouthed, "sorry", over to me. I waved her off mouthing, "It's okay."

She turned back to the phone. "Edward, calm down. Look, I know she hurt you..." I stopped listening the moment I heard the words, "she hurt you". I saw red!My breath hitched and my heart started pounding. This reaction was new, and it was scaring the crap out of me. No one had ever gotten this kind of reaction out of me. I didn't even know him, but I had an overwhelming desire…no need, to protect him. I tried to bring myself back to hear what she was saying.

"Stop saying that!" She sounded pissed again. "Just get your shit together," she yelled as she slammed her hand down on the bed. Wow! I wouldn't want to cross her any time. I heard him again - not what he was saying, just his voice. He was yelling again. Alice's eyes widened and her body was shaking with anger.

"Edward. Anthony. Cullen. Are you fucking laughing at me now?" she shrieked. Can I say, Holy s…crap? I was shocked. I would never have imagined this coming out of the little ball of energy I met yesterday.

He must have done or said something because her demeanor changed quickly and she started giggling. "You better not be." Whoa! This was seriously fun to listen to, but scary at the same time. I got up to wash my face and get dressed. While I tried to scare up some breakfast, I heard Alice say my name. I turned to answer her, but she was still on the phone. I gave her a confused/questioning look, but she just waved me off.

She began to talk again. "Edward, don't be such an ass," she said sarcastically. "It wasn't like I was going to set you up with her." She was laughing, but I stared at her wide-eyed, and I knew my jaw was located on the floor. My heart was in my stomach. She looked at me and started laughing even harder. I mouthed, "Why did you say that?" but she just shook her head.

"Nothing. I'm pretty much ready for classes, why?" she asked, sounding confused.

"Oh!" she gasped. What was he saying to her? Was it about me? Of course it wasn't. Where the hell did that notion come from? I growled and slapped myself inwardly. Get a grip, girl.

I heard her make plans to meet up with him later. When she hung up I stared her down, narrowing my eyes at her.

"Oh, Bella, lighten up, girl," she said as she walked over and put her hands on my shoulders. "I was just playing around with him." But something in her eyes told me differently. There was a wicked gleam shining in those baby blues. She reminded me of a fairy. An evil damn conniving fairy.

She left a couple hours later, so I decided to relax. Classes would begin on Monday and I wanted to be rested so I wouldn't drag along this week. So I made Saturday and Sunday my days of rest. I pulled out my worn copy of Wuthering Heights from my desk drawer and curled up in bed. I loved that book; I could read it a million times over, though I probably knew it by heart now.

~*MoTH*~

I sleepily turned over and looked at the clock. Oh my God. It was five o'clock. I can't believe I fell asleep.

I heard my stomach growl about five minutes later. I needed to grab something to eat. I decided to freshen up and change out of my wrinkled clothes. I headed out on campus to see what was open. As I walked toward the commons, I saw Alice with some guy. When I took a closer look, I realized that it was Edward. Oh my God. He was stunning; so much better looking in person. That picture didn't even do him justice. My heart was pounding in my ears. I continued to walk towards Alice as Edward was giving her a hug and then walked away with his hands in his pockets and head down.

I looked at her, and she gave me a smile that didn't seem to reach her eyes. I continued to make my way over to her, letting my heart rate slowly return to normal as Edward walked away. Damn that stupid organ.

When I got to her, she still seemed down. "Is everything okay?" I asked, concerned.

"Yeah, everything is good. It was so nice to hang out and talk with my brother. It's been so long," she said as tears filled her eyes but didn't fall. "He still has some issues to work through, but I think he's going to be fine," she said and her eyes started to gleam.

It was the same look earlier, and I started to get nervous again. I was beginning to learn what these different expressions of hers meant. She looked at my appearance and began to laugh.

"What?" I asked, breathlessly.

"Nothing!" she quipped.

"Yeah, right." I stared at her. "Look, I'm going to get something to eat, you wanna come with me?"

"Sure." She grinned.

We found a little deli nearby. I ordered a sandwich and Alice ordered a slice of cheesecake. After we ate and talked, we headed back to our room. We went to bed around eleven that night. I read a little more of my book and Alice listened to her iPod.

Sunday was supposed to be a lazy day, but it wasn't too bad. Alice spent hours trying to find the "perfect" outfit for her classes the next day. I just watched in amazement. When she was done, I decided to get all my books and supplies organized for each class. My first class was at nine. I found out that Alice was in the same class as me. I was actually excited about that; at least I would have someone I knew with me. We were both ready for Monday's classes but were too hyper and excited to go to sleep. We stayed up a bit and just talked more about our families and our time at Forks High School. We laughed at all the ridiculousness of everyone there.

I told her there was only person that I ever considered a true friend: Angela Weber. She told me that she could see that about her. She said that she seemed like she had a good heart, and I totally agreed. After a while, we finally got tired enough to go to sleep.

~*MoTH*~

Alice's alarm went off at seven and we both groaned. I couldn't help but snicker about that. I got out of bed first and took a shower. As soon as I finished, Alice jumped up and got in the shower. While she was in there, I got dressed and started fixing up some cereal. When she came out of the bathroom, she stopped in her tracks and looked me up and down.

"What?" I squeaked, starting to feel very self-conscious. "Is something wrong?"

"Are you seriously going to wear that?" She grimaced and I sighed, rolling my eyes at her. Her lips moved into a pout so I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Uh, yeah. Not everyone has access to Versace, Michael Kors, and Dolce & Gabbana on a whim," I scoffed as I pointed to her side of the closet.

"Let me give you a shirt to wear at least, please. You're killing me here. You are my roommate and I am a fashion major," she whined.

"NO!" I scowled.

"Please!" she cried and her mouth turned into a full on pout. I growled. This is so not fair. How can I say no to her now?

"Fine!" I said, annoyed.

She clapped her hands together and squealed, "Yeah! Thank you!" She was so excited, and I rolled my eyes again. She went to her closet and pulled out this deep royal blue silk shirt. It flowed when it moved. It was gorgeous, but I wasn't going to tell her that. I took the shirt from her and laid it on my bed. I pulled mine off and tossed it over my chair. I pulled her shirt over my head and felt the silk slide down over my body. I totally missed my shirt. This was so not me. I looked up at Alice and she was beaming.

"You look great. Okay, let's hit it before we are late to our first class," she said as she grabbed her purse and bag. I grabbed my bag and we headed out the door.

"Let's go!" we both said as we let the door close behind us.

~*Twilightgirl224

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again...let me know what you think!!


	5. Fighting the Demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is where Edward officially meets Bella. He is still resentful of his past, he is still feels the pain it caused. It's the first day of classes and he learns that he will be sharing class not only with his sister Alice, but with Bella.

Chapter 5

EPOV

I got out of bed and stumbled my way to the bathroom, still not quite awake yet. It had definitely been a fucked up night; I hadn't gotten much sleep. The damn nightmares were back, but I couldn't help but laugh when I remembered Jasper's reaction when I 'killed' the alarm clock this morning. Normally, Jasper slept like the dead. That was a good thing because this nightmare bullshit was embarrassing enough without someone else knowing about it. I made it to the bathroom and took a good look at myself in the mirror. God, I look like shit. I have a feeling this is going to be a long day. I undressed and jumped in the shower; letting the hot water ease the tension from my muscles.

I looked over at Jasper when I stepped out of the bathroom and snorted; he'd fallen back to sleep. I went over to my closet to pull out what I was going to wear and tossed the clothes on my bed, then I wandered over to the kitchenette to make some coffee. Jasper began to stir the moment it started to brew.

"Damn, dude," he said groggily, rubbing his hands over his face. "That smells good. Can you make enough for me too?"

"Yeah, man, there's enough here. What time is your first class?" I asked as I grabbed two mugs.

"Ten. You?"

"Nine…I have English and a writing class during the day, and then the lab for the English class tonight," I said while I got the cream and sugar ready.

"Sounds boring." He snickered. I turned and glared at him. His eyes widened in surprise and he put his hands up. "Whoa, just kidding dude. Chill out."

I growled, "Fucker."

"Shut up," he laughed. "I know you like all that writing shit."

I shrugged. "Yeah, actually I do. It used to help me with my music."

"Well, hopefully these classes will help get your creative juices flowing again. We've missed you at the jam sessions, and we are kind of running out of material to play. We've had to continue to play all of our old stuff," he said accusingly, but there was a smirk playing at his lips.

I sighed. "I know man…I'm sorry about that. I know I was being a dick and shut everyone out when that shit with Tanya happened…" My voice cracked. God, I sound like a fucking moron.

He walked over to me. "Man, don't go there. No one blames you for that. We all know what happened. It's just not like you to shut us out. We were all waiting for you to come to us, but you never did. I'm your best friend, and honestly, I thought that even if you couldn't talk to your family, you'd at least come talk to me." He put his hand on my shoulder. "Better late than never, I always say," he added with the goofiest grin ever.

I snorted. "Thanks, Jazz."

I cleared my throat. "Alright, let me go before I'm late for my first day of class." I walked past Jasper and grabbed my bag. "I'll catch ya later."

~*MoTH*~

I made my way to the commons with my head down so I wouldn't have to make eye contact with anyone. I still wasn't ready to socialize with anyone. I was such a fuckin' pussy, but I had my reasons.

I was almost at the English building. I seriously hoped the professor was going to be better than the one I had last year. I had been so bored in that class. There was no challenge to me because I already knew the topics she covered. The 'A' I received was not even deserved. So this semester I decided to try the Advanced English Comp II class. It was supposed to go hand-in-hand with the writing class I was also taking.

I finally made it to the classroom and scanned the room the moment I walked through the door; there were some empty desks in the far back corner: perfect. Hopefully there wouldn't be that many students in the class. I watched as students came traipsing into the room for the next ten minutes. Thankfully, they stayed far away from my area. I looked down at my book and decided to glance over the first chapter.

As soon as I opened my book, I heard a voice that I would recognize anywhere. Oh no. Her voice got louder and louder the closer she got to the classroom. Please, please don't let her be in this class. I glanced up at the door and in walked my little pixie of a sister. Why didn't she tell me that she was taking this class too?

She stopped to survey the room. When her eyes locked on mine a smile exploded across her lips. I noticed there was a girl standing next to her. She was just a bit taller than Alice and had long, curly mahogany hair. Alice turned to her and pointed in my direction. The girl looked over at me and I saw her eyes widen. She looked back at Alice and started shaking her head frantically.

Alice pulled her by the hand and started to walk over to my area. The girl kept trying to pull her hand back, and she was still shaking her head no. As she got closer, I noticed that there was a light blush on her cheeks. Why the hell is she blushing? Inwardly I was laughing, but on the outside I was giving Alice the death stare. I knew she could be very manipulative. Damn evil pixie.

Alice, and the girl who was still locked in her death grip, found their way to a couple of empty desks near me. Alice sat in the one next to me, and the girl sat in the one in front of her. For some reason she started to look a little familiar. Was she the one from the club?

It was like Alice was reading my mind. "Edward, this is Bella, my roommate and friend." Bella turned around and the blush deepened. "Bella, this is my brother Edward."

She looked at me and squeaked out a "hello". I couldn't help but chuckle. Bella's face fell slightly and I instantly felt chagrined, but I didn't say anything. Alice slapped me. I turned to look at her and saw that she was glaring at me.

"What?" I asked, rubbing my arm. That actually hurt.

"Be nice," she spat.

I pretended to look confused. "What did I do?" I asked innocently, but Alice wasn't buying it.

She raised the volume of her voice. "Edward. Anthony. Cullen." It was my turn to look flustered. Twice in two days I was being scolded by my sister. I lowered my head into my hands, rubbing them over my face. One of them began to rake through my hair.

I groaned. "Alice, I hate it when you do that!" Before I started a mini-temper-tantrum, I heard soft giggling coming from in front of me. It stopped immediately the moment I looked over at Bella.

"I…I'm sorry," she said nervously. "I didn't mean to laugh, but it's funny to watch the two of you."

"It's alright. Alice always brings out the worst in me," I said with a slight smile to show no harm, no foul. She started laughing when Alice slapped me, again.

"Go ahead, Edward. See if I ever talk to you again," she said sulkily. She scooted her desk away from mine with a huff, then she crossed her arms over her chest and pouted. God, the pouty guilt trip works every time. She knows how to make me cave. Evil, pure evil I say.

"Ahhh, come on lil' sis, you know that I love ya," I cooed, laughing at the same time I pulled her desk back toward me.

"Stop it!" she yelled and slapped me again. I started laughing harder and she finally joined in. Bella was watching the two of us. She was laughing so hard she had tears streaming down her cheeks. It was such a lovely sight. Alright Cullen, don't even go there! I gave myself an internal bitch slap. I was so not gonna head down that road again. I shook my head to clear it.

I happened to look over at Alice, and she had a wicked gleam in her eyes. Oh no! I know that look. What the fuck is she up to? I narrowed my eyes at her. I told her silently, 'No fuckin' way. Don't even think about it!' She shrugged, but that grin of hers still lingered on her lips. Damn evil pixie.

The professor started the class, and the spotlight was finally taken off of us and all our craziness. Thank God this was just an introduction to the class. He went over the syllabus and what his expectations were. It all took about an hour, and then Professor Marcus dismissed us early, but told us to be prepared to start the class in full force on Wednesday. Oh joy!

Alice and Bella quickly jumped out of their seats and headed to the exit. When I caught up with them, I put my arm over Alice's shoulders. I caught the last bit of what Bella was saying to Alice about her next class. I didn't catch everything, but when she mentioned the name of her professor, my ears suddenly tuned in to the rest of the conversation.

"You're taking Advanced Writing with Professor Aro?" I asked, not quite looking directly at Bella.

"Yeah…today at one thirty. You know the class?" she asked, her curiosity kicking in.

"Kind of. That's my next class for the day," I said. I looked over at Bella and I'll be damned, she was blushing something fierce. What is with this girl? Why does she keep blushing? It's kind of cute. My inner monologue was suddenly interrupted when I glanced over at Alice. Her grin had gotten a hundred times bigger and, that fucking gleam of hers was back in full force. Oh hell no! That was my cue to leave.

"Hey, I'll catch ya later sis," I said quickly, still trying to be polite. I looked over at Bella and nodded. "Bella," I said before I turned and walked away. I would be damned if I let Alice get me involved in another one of her matchmaking schemes.

~*MoTH*~

Jasper's class wouldn't be over for another forty-five minutes, so I texted him to meet me at the dining hall for lunch. I was going to throw Jasper and Alice together. That would get her to stay the hell out of my personal life, well, my lack of personal life anyway. I knew what that look in Alice's eyes meant. I saw the wheels turning in her wannabe matchmaking mind. But damn it, I wasn't looking for another heartbreak. I refused to get involved with another girl. Hell, I'd sleep with them, but there would be no emotional connection to them, and if I didn't sleep with them, my hand would always do the trick. Fuck women, literally and figuratively.

I got to the dining hall, and grabbed a coffee and table. While I sat there waiting for Jasper to show up, my mind started to wander. I'm not sure why my mind decided to go there. It probably had something to do with the nightmare I had had last night, but it went there. FUCK! I hadn't really thought about what had happened that night for a couple of weeks. Just flashbacks every now and then, but nothing like the ones I had had during the first couple of months after the incident. It wasn't like I wanted to dwell on that shit. I was really trying to get over it and move on with my life, woman-free, but my fucked up mind kept going back to the night my heart was shattered into a million pieces.

A lump formed in my throat. My heart fell to my stomach and it ached. It was rare because it had been left cold and dead since that night. I wouldn't allow it to feel anything anymore. I didn't trust enough to let anyone in again. But, at this particular moment, my mind started playing over the events from that night.

That night was supposed to be perfect. I had been arranging it for over a month in between classes and studying. I had known since Christmas that I wanted Tanya to be my wife. I had loved her for almost two years. After New Year's, I went to Tiffany's and bought an engagement ring. I made reservations at a five-star restaurant in Port Angeles. I agreed to meet her halfway because she didn't want to drive all the way to Seattle. I had a paper due on Monday that needed to get done or I wouldn't have been able to spend the weekend with her. I was going to take her on a romantic little getaway after the proposal. I was so excited that I was on cloud nine all week long.

Being in school prevented me from seeing Tanya as much as I wanted to. I tried to get home every holiday and free weekend I could, but I needed to make sure all my class work was done. I hated to admit that my focus on school is probably what caused Tanya to distance herself from me. I felt like I had pushed her away. I never wanted to her to think she was second best.

I placed my head on my hands and tried to keep the tears inside.

I remembered her face as she walked into the restaurant. My breathing stopped the moment she walked into the room. I watched as her face went from surprise to shock while she made her way to our table. That look should have set an alarm off in my mind, but it didn't. I was just entirely too focused on her. She was absolutely beautiful, breathtaking. Her hair was pulled up into a twist; loose strands were caressing her face and neck. Her beautiful pale, milky skin was lightly covered by natural-colored make-up. It brought out the color of her bright crystal-blue eyes. I stood up to greet her as she approached the table; my hands were shaking. I wanted so much to pull her into me and kiss her deeply, but she just sat down when she got to her chair. I knew that something was wrong then, but I was in love and didn't think anything of it. I reached over to touch her hands when we were both seated, but she moved them away from me. She had never done that before. Maybe she was still in shock from the evening. Boy was I ever wrong…

Jasper pulled me out of my self-induced torture when he came up behind me and placed his hand on my shoulder. Out of instinct, I jumped out of my seat and turned around. My posture was defensive; ready to fight.

He jumped back. "Sorry man…I didn't mean to scare you!" he said with his hands in the air. He looked very concerned.

"No, it's alright," I said shakily. "But thank you."

Jasper looked at me like I was crazy. "Thank you? What for?"

"I was kind of stuck in a dark place before you showed up," I said as I rubbed my hands over my face trying to ease the tension there.

His eyebrows shot up. "Oh," he quipped. "Um, sorry to hear that, Edward. I'm glad I could help, I guess."

I tried to smile, but it probably looked more like a grimace. I raked my hands through my hair. I tried to lighten the tension that was surrounding me. So I did what I knew would work. I talked about Alice.

"I ran into my sister earlier," I said nonchalantly looking over at Jasper as he was about to sit down across from me. He froze in midair. The normally pale Jasper was about ten shades of red. I started laughing. "Jazz, you alright?" This is going to be so much fun! He had it about as bad as Alice did, if not more.

"Uh…um…what?" he stuttered. "Yeah…I'm good. Where did you see her?"

"Believe it or not, she's in my English class." I laughed. He was so easy. "Do you remember the girl that was with her at the club?"

"Who, Rosie?" he asked, looking at me like I was crazy.

"No. The other one…the brunette," I said. I was seriously annoyed now.

"I didn't notice anyone else," he said cockily. "But you sure did." He was laughing at me now. Seriously? What the fuck! This wasn't about to happen. I flipped him off.

"What?" he asked in amazement. "What did I say?" He was laughing harder. "Defensive much!"

"NO!" I growled. He had tears rolling down his face. "Never mind, you douche," I muttered. Now I was pissed off.

"Wait! What about this girl?" he asked, but it came out in gasps. He tried to stop laughing, but it wasn't working.

"Nothing, never mind," I said through clenched teeth.

"Oh, come on, Edward, it caught me off guard that you mentioned something about a girl," he said seriously. The smirk was still there. Fucker!

I rolled my eyes. "She was dancing with Alice and Rosalie at the club. Found out she's Alice's roommate, and as far as I know I have two classes with her: English and Writing," I muttered. Jasper looked a little shocked.

"Seriously?" he asked with a huge grin forming across his face.

"Man, what is with you and Alice?" I asked gruffly. I was really getting annoyed again. "She had the same dumb ass grin you have on your face right now, but she also had that damn wicked gleam in her eyes."

"What exactly were you doing before you saw the gleam and grin?" he asked, his interest was piqued now.

I shrugged. "Nothing." I was lying and, of course, he called me out on it.

I rolled my eyes again. "She was sitting in front of me, one chair over. I didn't recognize her at first because I didn't see her face that night, I only saw her from behind." I huffed. Oh man, did I really just say that? I pinched the bridge of my nose between my fingers. Jasper started laughing again.

"Shut up, fucker." I groaned. "It wasn't like I was checking her out or anything." Well, that was another lie. I did kind of notice her ass, I am a guy, but I wasn't staring at her. Even in my fucked up world I could look, but I wouldn't let myself get involved.

"Yeah, right…whatever," he said, unconvinced.

"Look, Jazz, nothing is going to happen. I don't trust them - never will!" I said, forcefully. He put his hands up in mock surrender.

"Alright, Edward, I get it." He sighed as he rolled his eyes and shrugged his shoulders.

I decided to take the spotlight off me again and place it back on him.

"So, what are your intentions with my sister?" I asked, watching his reaction. His head snapped up, and the blush that had dissipated a while ago returned with a vengeance. It had even crept into his hairline.

"W…wh…what are you t..talking about?" he asked, tripping over his words. It took everything I had to stifle the laughter that was steadily building in my gut.

"Every time I mention her, you blush something fierce, and whenever she's around you can't take your eyes off of her. She's the same way about you." I threw the last bit in for good measure.

"What do you mean?" he asked. I knew he was itching for more information. What do I tell him? They were almost identical in their reactions about each other. So, I would tell him some of that.

I huffed a bit and shrugged my shoulders. "Anytime your name is mentioned around her, her face gets as red as yours." I couldn't help but snicker. "You guys have it bad for each other, but you both are too damn chicken or stubborn to do anything about it. She's my sister and I love her. You're my friend and I think very highly of you. But, if you ever get up enough balls to do something about it and you hurt her in any way, friend or not, I will not hesitate to kick your ass."

I didn't think Jasper could have gotten any redder, but damn, he did. I busted out laughing. I almost fell out of my chair. I tried to look up at him, but I was crying so much from laughing he looked blurry. From what I could make out, it looked like he wanted to hit me.

I couldn't stop laughing. "I'm sorry, Jasper. I don't mean to laugh." I said between gasps. I had to take a huge gulp of air, my lungs and stomach were killing me - but damnit - this was fucking hilarious. There was nothing like embarrassing the shit out of your best friend.

"Give it a rest, Edward! It's not funny. I happen to really like Alice, and I know that you and Emmett are very protective of her. I would never do anything to hurt her because I'm afraid you'll kick my ass, but I'm even more afraid that Emmett would kill me!" he said quite forcefully.

My eyes widened at his statement, but I understood where he was coming from because he felt the exact same way about his sister, Rosalie, even though she could totally take care of herself. That was saying a lot because Jasper was such a gentle soul. He didn't allow much to bother him. His calm personality rubbed off on the people around him.

"I don't think Emmett would kill you, but he could resort to castration." I chuckled.

Jasper crossed his legs and placed his hands over his crotch in a protective manner. "That's a nasty image, man. Don't even joke about that," he said, cringing. Hell, even I shuddered at the thought.

"I wasn't joking. We don't play when it comes to Alice; you know that," I said firmly.

"I know… I know," he said nodding. "I really want to get to know Alice better, but you're right; I'm a chicken-shit when it comes to your sister."

"Man, you need to grow a pair or you are going to remain alone for the rest of your life," I said matter-of-factly. He looked at me with a raised eyebrow like he was saying 'back at you.' The only difference between Jasper and I was that I wasn't looking for anyone to spend the rest of my life with. I had tried that route already and it had nearly killed me.

I rolled my eyes at him and laughed. "So, what are your intentions regarding my sister?" I had the smuggest grin on my face when he looked at me again.

"You are a fucking dick sometimes, Edward," he said, laughing.

"I know." I looked around the dining hall and my eyes glanced at the clock. It was almost twelve forty-five. My class was supposed to begin at one-thirty. "Jazz, I have to head out," I said. I can't believe I sat here for over two hours. Where did the time go?

"I need to go get my stuff for my next class," I said. I stood up and mocked-punched him on his arm. "This conversation isn't over dude! I'll catch ya later." I grabbed my bag and headed out.

As I walked among my fellow classmates, my head was down and my thoughts started to wander again; this time they didn't go into the darkness. It found something within the light; a face - the face of a girl with warm, chocolate colored eyes and a blush that could stop a heart.

FUCK!

I AM SO FUCKED!

~*twilightgirl224


	6. The Past Comes Knocking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is Bella's first class with Alice and Edward. While phoning someone she sees a guy who can't stop staring at her. She is totally freaked out by him and she finds out later who he is and she is shocked.

Chapter 6

BPOV

Alice and I left our room to head to our first class, which we had together. I was surprised by that, but it was nice. We made our way through the commons arm in arm, checking out the different guys we saw, talking and giggling like high school girls. I noticed that the guys were looking in our direction, watching us as we walked by. They were probably checking Alice out. I nudged her and pointed to a couple of the guys who couldn't seem to take their eyes off of her. She started to laugh.

"Girl, they are looking at you not me."

I scoffed, "No they're not, Alice. Not even close!"

"Yes they are!" She giggled and waved at one of the guys. I was shocked. Oh My God. The guy waved back and Alice pointed to me. He smiled and nodded.

"See, told you so." Oh man. She started laughing again when she looked back at me. My face had to have been five shades of red, and I could feel the heat radiating from my cheeks. Alice grabbed my hand and began to lead me away from where we had stopped. She had to pull me along because my body did not want to cooperate; I was frozen due to shock. I wasn't used to getting that kind of attention from guys. I was the shy one at school and except for my guy friends; no one at school gave me the time of day. This is a new experience for me. I don't know how to act or feel about it.

"Come on, Bella…Bella? Bella?" She called my name a little bit louder. It snapped me back to reality.

"Yeah…hmmm…what?" I asked incoherently as I tried to articulate my words but not succeeding. She started to laugh some more at my expense. Alice was still taking the lead as we made our way to the English building. She was still giggling and making fun of me. Alice is never going to let me live this down.

We found our classroom and watched as the other students entered the class before we did. Alice was still laughing and teasing me about my reaction to those guys from earlier, her laugh carried throughout the corridor. People kept looking back at her, most of them staring in disbelief or amusement, take your pick, and they must have thought that she was crazy. I wanted to agree at the moment. Alice was in front of me as we entered the room, but she suddenly came to a stop and I almost ran into her. I walked around to her right side and looked at her. Her eyes were wide and there was a huge grin plastered on her face. I tried to pull her like she had done to me, but she wouldn't budge. She was staring at something, so I followed her gaze. Oh no! God would not do this to me. Yes he would, this is pure torture.

I saw him. I would recognize him anywhere. He had a rare copper, bronze colored hair, chiseled jaw and cheeks. I saw the most beautifully bright emerald green eyes looking back at us. His eyes widened in shock…fear maybe, but his look went from shock to what…anger? Why would he be angry? Then his eyes moved from Alice to me. My cheeks felt like they were on fire now. I needed to leave and I couldn't, damn it. This is not going to be good. That look of anger, if that's what it was, slowly moved into confusion.

Alice finally moved and made her way back to where Edward was sitting. Oh no, not happening. I pulled back on her hand and she turned to look to me. I shook my head no and she smiled at me but continued to pull me along. She led me to a couple of empty desks near him. She sat at the one next to him and the one in front of her was empty so I sat down. I didn't think I could have handled being any closer to him. I was beyond pathetic. I don't even know him!

Alice decided to speak first. "Edward, this is Bella, my roommate and friend." I turned around to look at him, and I felt the heat intensify in my cheeks. "Bella, this is my brother, Edward." He looked over to me and nodded.

"Hello," I squeaked. How freaking embarrassing. He must think I'm nuts. I heard a soft chuckle come from him. LET ME DIE NOW! Why me? I looked down trying to avoid making eye contact with him. A moment later, I heard a loud slap. I looked up and Edward was rubbing his bicep.

"What?" he whined. I looked at her, and she was giving him the 'death stare'. What did he do to deserve that?

"Be nice!" she spat. She was kind of pissed. Okay, what the hell was I missing?

"What did I do?" he asked confused, still rubbing his arm absent-mindedly. I was also confused. I kept looking between the both of them.

"Edward. Anthony. Cullen!" Alice's voice had raised enough to be heard by everyone else in the room. I was biting my tongue to keep from laughing at Edward because he was the one blushing this time. Oh, he was so adorable. Edward began to rub his hands over his face and they found his way into his hair. Oh, I want to do that. He groaned. Oh God! That sound just did something to my insides. I had to shift in my seat a bit. Damn!

"Alice, I hate when you do that!" he grumbled. His hands were rubbing his face again. I couldn't stop it this time, I started giggling. It was like he was being scolded by his mother, but it was coming from his sister. It was the funniest thing I had ever seen. I was watching Alice through all this, but it felt like someone was staring at me. I looked over at Edward and the giggling stopped dead in my chest. He didn't look mad, but it was a strange feeling.

"I…I'm sorry," I said nervously. I felt the need to apologize in case he was mad. "I didn't mean to laugh." At least I tried not to laugh, but it was too funny not to. So I told him so. "But it was funny watching the two of you." I watched as a smile crept across his lips. He was so cute.

"It's alright," he said. "Alice always brings out the worst in me." Just then, Alice hit him again and scooted her desk further away from him. I busted out laughing, harder this time.

"Go ahead, Edward, see if I talk to you again." She was sitting in her desk with her arms crossed over her chest and her bottom lip jutted out in a pout. Edward and I sat there laughing at her.

"Aww come on, lil sis, you know I love ya," he said, teasingly as he pulled her desk back towards him. She was slapping at his hands to get him to stop. When that didn't work, she started slapping at his arm again.

"Stop it!" she squealed. I began to laugh harder; tears were streaming down my face. Edward was still laughing. Alice gave up and joined in. I couldn't stop watching the both of them. My eyes were blurry from the tears, but I was having so much fun watching them. Sometimes I wish I had brothers and sisters so I could have the kind of relationship that Edward and Alice had. Jake was kind of a surrogate brother to me, but it wasn't the same. He wasn't there every day with me while I grew up. God, I missed him, but his damn stubbornness kept him away from me. I just wished that we could go back to the way things were before the fiasco at New Year's. Damn, Jacob!

I glanced over at Edward and he seemed to be looking at me, but not looking at me. It was kind of like he was in a daze. He suddenly snapped himself out of it and looked over at Alice. I saw a hint of surprise suddenly appear on his face, so I looked to Alice. There was some kind of unspoken communication going on between them. It was strange to watch Alice's expression. It was kind of devious. Whatever Edward was doing made the grin she had grow immensely. Something about this made me very nervous. Thank God the professor showed up before I found myself in the middle of something I may not have been ready for. For some strange reason, or maybe it was the atmosphere surrounding those two, a shiver ran through my entire body. Where the hell did that come from?

Professor Marcus dismissed the class early. What am I going to do for the next couple hours? Alice took me by the hand again and we headed out of the classroom. I was in the middle of telling Alice about my next class when I saw Edward come up behind her and put his arm around her shoulder. I was really excited about it. I had always loved to write, ever since I was little; writing poetry and short stories. Growing up I wanted to become a writer. I had an over active imagination and my mind was always full of different ideas.

"Alice, I'm so excited about my next class. It's at one-thirty," I said excitedly.

"What is it?"

"It's Advanced Writing with Professor Aro, I think that's his name." Edward's head snapped up, and he looked in my direction. I was a little shocked.

He didn't look at me when he asked, "You are taking Advance Writing with Professor Aro?"

"Yeah, today at one-thirty. You know the class?" I asked, intrigued. Maybe he had taken the class and could give me some pointers. Wait, why would he do that? Keep dreaming girl.

"Kind of. That's my next class for the day," he said, looking at me this time. His eyes are killing me. I could seriously get lost in them. Once again, I felt the heat flooding my face. I needed to get a grip. Edward looked at me strangely, and then looked back at Alice. She had some all-knowing expression on her face. He seemed to be surprised by her expression and became a little fidgety.

"Hey, I'll catch ya later, sis," he said. He looked over to me and nodded. "Bella."

I watched as he walked away. His hands went into his pockets and his head went down. It was like he was trying to shut out the world. My heart ached for him, so much so that I wanted to find the girl who had hurt him and gouge her eyes out. Okay, what was that about? Why did I want to stoop to physical violence for someone I hardly know? Why was I so drawn to him? I couldn't stop looking at his picture earlier. When we were in class all I wanted to do was stare at him, but I couldn't. Now, we had another class together. But this time it was without Alice between us. What was I going to do?

Alice and I left the English building. We weren't sure what we were going to do to pass the time. I had almost three hours to kill, and Alice's class was not until three-thirty. We decided to go do lunch, but Alice wanted to drop her books off at our room first. We made our way through the commons. It still felt kind of strange when I noticed a guy looking at me. It was so new to me. I had always considered myself a plain girl, nothing special to look at. I never had a boyfriend and never really wanted one. Jacob obviously wanted more, but I didn't. Thinking about Jake made me miss him even more. I decided that I should try to call him, see if he would actually pick up the phone this time. I told Alice to give me a few minutes, and I walked over to one of the benches in the quad.

I started to get a little nervous. I hadn't spoken to Jake in over seven months. My hands started to shake a little, and I had a hard time flipping through my phone to find his number. When his picture popped up on my screen, tears began to prick at my eyes. *sniffle* I pressed send. I began to breathe in and out, trying to calm my nerves. I looked around the quad while I waited for the phone to ring, and I watched as other students walked from building to building. I saw some of the students taking advantage of the sun and the warm weather that still lingered around. As the fourth ring began, I started to feel down ,and I decided to look for Alice, but I was sidetracked by a guy who was staring at me, intensely. I looked around me to see if there was anyone near me he could be looking at, but no. This was weird. As soon as I turned back around I got Jake's voicemail. *sigh*

'Hey, it's Jake, leave me a message!'

"Jake, it's Bella, but you already know that. That's probably why you didn't answer. *sigh* I wish you would talk to me…I miss you, Jake. I miss hearing your voice. Please call me… please," I begged. I hit the end button and I just wanted to cry. I looked up and that guy was still staring at me. He wasn't bad looking - not as gorgeous as Edward - but he was cute. He had blonde hair; it was pulled back into a ponytail. He had a slight tan and his face had a couple days' worth of stubble on it. I liked that on a guy, it was sexy, and I immediately thought of Edward. Yummy!

He caught me staring. I really wasn't staring at him; I was daydreaming in his general direction. He smiled and winked at me. I smiled back, but I started to feel a bit uncomfortable. His smile made me feel uneasy, dirty. I felt a shiver run through me, and his eyes widened. The smile he had got immensely bigger. He must have taken that shiver as a sign of excitement and that was so not the case. I needed to find Alice Looking around, I found her talking amongst a group of other students, mostly guys, and she was laughing. She saw me looking at her, smiled, and waved me over. As I walked over to her, I took a quick glance behind me to see if that guy was still staring; he was nowhere to be seen. Thank God. Creepy!

Alice must have sensed my discomfort. "Are you alright, Bella?" Her brows furrowed in concern.

I shrugged, coming to stop next to her. "Yeah, I'm good - just kind of creeped out right now," I said, giving her a small smile.

"What happened?" Her eyes tried to meet mine.

"Nothing, really. My imagination was probably getting the better of me."

She moved a little closer and put her hand on my arm. I felt like an idiot. I sighed and another shiver ran through me. "I don't think so, Bella. I just felt that shudder your body just gave off," she said matter-of-factly.

Damn, I was hoping she hadn't felt that. I looked up at her. "It's probably nothing. I was trying to call the friend that I told you about earlier, and I caught this guy staring at me. I mean, really staring at me. He kind of creeped me out. He winked at me, and his smile"—I shuddered again—"It was kind of evil-looking." Alice put her arm around me and pulled me closer to her.

"I don't think it was anything, but if something comes of it, I've got your back girl," She said with sincerity. I looked at her and smiled. She winked at me and gave me a huge smile. I leaned into her and I felt my body relax.

"You ready to go to lunch?" she asked.

"Yeah, but don't you need to stop at the room first?" I motioned to her bag.

"Oh crap, yeah. Do you mind?" She looked at me.

"Of course not, the walk will do me some good." It will help take my mind off of Jacob and that guy from the commons. We got up and started walking.

"Did you get a hold of your friend?"

So much for forgetting about Jacob. "No, but I wasn't expecting to. He hasn't answered my calls for months. I was just… hoping that's all." I wanted to cry, but I held the tears back. Man, I needed to stop this. I didn't do anything wrong. But why do I feel so guilty?

"He will come around, Bella." She sounded sure of her statement.

I laughed, "I doubt it. You didn't see his face when he left that night. He looked broken, but I don't know what he was expecting. He laid all that out on me, and he was surprised when I didn't feel the same way. I can't change that," I said as I wiped a damn traitor tear that fell from my eye.

"Are you sure about that, Bella? You don't have any romantic feelings for him?" She looked at me skeptically. I sighed; I felt like I had to defend myself again. Why was this so hard to believe? He was…he is my best friend, my brother. I didn't want him in that way, ugh!

"No, Alice, I never thought of Jacob in that way. He was like my brother. That's all!" I said through clenched teeth. Alice stepped back and put her hands up. "I'm sorry. I'm just tired of trying to defend myself."

She looked remorseful. "I didn't mean anything by it, Bella. Sometimes guys want to see more than what's there, and sometimes they don't want to see what's directly in front of their…" She trailed off looking into space.

I looked at her, confused. "Alice, are you okay?"

It took her a few moments, but she sighed. "Yeah, I'm good…just thinking."

"Anything I can help with?"

She shrugged her shoulders and laughed, "Not unless you can get into the mind of a particular guy and tell him to get his act together." I knew I had a look of confusion written all over my face. She laughed again, "Don't worry about it. I'll figure it out. But another thing I'm having issues with is there is this guy that I like and well, I guess I'm kind of in the same scenario as you and your friend. I want to tell him but I'm scared to find out if he feels the same thing back. So I don't say or do anything about it."

I totally got it. She didn't want to say anything out of fear of rejection. Jacob told me everything, he laid it all out, but he didn't take into consideration all the possible outcomes of what he was doing. Argh! Life sucks sometimes!

"Oh, Alice, I'm not the right one to talk to about this. I can listen, be a shoulder to cry on if and when the need arises, but after what happened with Jake, I'm the last person to give advice on this subject. I do hope that everything works out for you. You deserve to be happy." God that sounded kind of lame because now I feel bad for Jake, he deserves to be happy too, but it's not with me. I was NOT the one!

She raised her eyebrow. "And you don't?" Was she reading my mind? I laughed at her expression and she rolled her eyes.

"I'm happy," I lied. I missed my family and my best friend.

"You're lying. You don't do it very well." She smirked at me. I was a little shocked by that.

"Well, I am…to a point. I miss my family, and I really miss Jacob." I missed them so much I felt the tears well up in my eyes. Alice saw this and wrapped her arm around me again.

"Hey, no need to cry. Look: how about I make you a part of my family? We can be like sisters if you want."

She sounded kind of excited about the prospect. I had to admit, I kind of liked the thought of that. I was by myself here. I needed someone in my life that I could trust, and Alice made that easy. I wrapped my arms around her and gave her a big hug.

"Alice, I would so like that!" I was kind of excited. I was grinning from ear to ear.

She pulled back and grasped my hands. "Girl, we are going to have so much fun!" she squealed. I was crying now, happy tears this time.

She looked confused. "Why are crying now?" she asked.

I choked a laugh. "These are good tears. I'm definitely happy now."

"Good! Now come on sis, let's finally go do lunch. You don't have that much time left before your next class," she said as she got up and pulled my hand.

I looked at the time on my phone. It was almost twelve. We still had time for lunch and from there I could head to class.

~*MoTH*~

We finally made it to our room. Alice dropped her books off and I switched mine out. We both took a few minutes to freshen up. Okay, I took a few minutes. Alice took about twenty. When I washed my face, I allowed the cool water to sooth my eyes and cheeks. I definitely didn't want to look like I had been crying when I went to my next class, especially since Edward would be there. Why do I care what he thinks about me? Let's see, because he's gorgeous. He's like a Greek god. He makes everything inside me quiver - places I didn't even know existed. I feel like I'm having a hot flash. I need some more cold water. DAMN!

We finally left the room at twelve fifteen. Alice and her damn primping. Okay, so I had an hour and fifteen minutes until my next class. That meant we needed to eat somewhere on campus. We decided on the little deli that we went to on Saturday. We located a table leaving our stuff there while we went to order something to eat. While Alice was getting her drink, I took mine back to the table and waited for my order to be called.

I sat and watched students as they came and went from the deli. I looked for Alice. She was talking to someone on the phone. I turned back to the entrance just as the door opened again. My eyes widened in surprise. It was the blonde from the commons. I watched as he scanned the deli. When his gaze met mine, that creepy smile made its way back on his face. *Shudder*

Damn, I needed to stop doing that, because when he caught me doing it again, his smile grew impossibly wider and he licked his lips. I felt like my eyes were going to bug out of their sockets. He made his way towards my table. Not good - this is not good.

He stopped behind the seat with Alice's bag in it. "Hi there, baby," he said huskily.

"Um, hello," I mumbled. I'm about to have a full freak out session here. I don't know what to do. Where's Alice?

"I saw you earlier today in the commons. Is this your first year here?" He moved around the table and sat down on the seat next to me.

I gasped, "Yes." Oh my God, where are you Alice? I need you.

He scooted the seat closer to me. "My name is James. It's my second year here. Where are you from?"

I tried to move my seat back some, but the window was in my way. FUCK! "From Forks." My voice wavered.

"Really? Me too. What's your name?" Oh God, seriously! I scanned the deli for Alice. She finally looked at me, and I pleaded with my eyes for her to come rescue me. She told whoever was on the phone she'd call them back and hung up. The look on her face screamed bloody murder.

"Isabella, but I go by Bella." My body was so tense right now that I was about to scream.

"Hey, since you're new in town, I would like to show you around town and maybe invite you to a party this weekend at Sigma house." Alice was at the table the moment he mentioned the party. Oh, thank you, sweet Jesus!

"Sorry, but she has plans this weekend," she said icily. "James, what are you doing here?" Alice was looking at him with such anger and hatred. What the hell?

"Alice, I didn't know you were here. I was just talking to Bella here." He smirked at her and she was livid. Her hands were balled into fists at her sides.

"I think you had better leave James. If Edward catches you here…"

He started laughing. "Oh this is too good to be true. He's here too, I forgot. I didn't think he'd come back after what happened earlier this year." Alice was shaking; her face was bright red from anger. I was just completely shocked by what was going on. I was speechless.

"You fucking prick!" she screamed. "You have got a lot of nerve to be bringing that shit up in my presence." OH MY GOD! I can't believe she just said that. Everyone in the deli stopped what they were doing and watched the scene that was playing out in front of me. He was laughing louder now.

"I'm out of here. Look, Bella, if you change your mind about this weekend, let me know. I would like to get to know you better." That wicked smile was back on his face.

Alice wasn't having it. "Fat chance, asshole." He got up and left, laughing as he left the deli.

I was still in shock over their confrontation. "Alice, what the hell was all that about? That was the guy I was telling you about earlier. He was the one that creeped me out."

"Bella, please stay away from him. He's no good. He's part of what happened to Edward earlier this year; they used to be friends until." She was trying to calm herself down and pleading with me at the same time.

"You don't have to worry about that. I don't have any interest in him whatsoever. He makes my skin crawl, and not in a good way."

"Good. I wish I could tell you more, but just trust me when I say he is bad news." Well, that little statement definitely piqued my curiosity and made me want to know everything that happened right now. It must have been bad if Alice was this worked up over James.

"I think I lost my appetite," she said, still looking disgusted.

"Me too. I lost it the second he walked through that door." I shuddered again at the thought.

"So that was the guy you were telling me about earlier?" she asked as she laid her hand over mine.

"Yeah, he was sitting at a bench across from where I was sitting. He wouldn't stop staring at me. The smile he gave me - ugh! He makes me want to shower in bleach."

"Well now that I know it is James, we need to be more cautious. He's arrogant. He always gets what he wants. He's downright evil. It makes me furious to know that he's here while Edward is here. This is not going to be good." She looked worried now. "I don't know if I should tell him or not. This may throw him back into his shell."

"Alice, honestly, even though you know this may hurt him, he still has the right to know. I don't know what happened, but if this could affect him in any way, he needs to know." I tried to be as convincing as I could. I hated to think of Edward in any kind of pain. It hurt my heart to no end, but it was the right thing to do.

Her chin started to quiver like she was holding back from crying. "I know, but this is going to hurt him or he's going to kill James. Either way, it's a lose-lose situation."

"Come on Alice, let's go. I have some time still before my class let's go for a walk."

"Yeah…sure. I need to figure out how I am going to tell Edward the guy who was partly responsible for shattering his world is back and attending school here." WHAT? I was ready to go out on a murdering spree. James was second on my list, only to the bitch who broke Edward's heart. What was I thinking? Get a grip Bella.

"I'll help you figure something out." I didn't know how or what, but I would help her in any way that I could.

"Thanks." She leaned into me as we walked out of the deli. This is not going to be good.

~*Twilightgirl224

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What are they going to do? How can they tell Edward without hurting him? 
> 
> Okay...I have 17 chapters written...I will test out the first 6 with everyone. If I get some following, I'll post a new chapter every few days. Leave me some love!


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